December
25, 2007
Merry
Christmas!
And The Winners
Are... - Can we have a drum roll please...Pa rum pum pum pum! We're happy to announce the winners of this year's 2nd
Annual Last Minute Monkie Christmas Giveaway - Benjamin
Solomon and John Boyarsky - each
of whom have won a $25
iTunes Gift Certificate! If you happened to be named one
of the aforementioned, please check out The
Winner's Circle on
how to collect your prize. Let's give a big round of applause to these
two gentlemen and to everyone who entered this year's giveaway.
In addition, I'd also like to extend a great big thanks
to all who entered and a big "thumbs
up" to all of our readers for a most fantabulous year end return here
at MacMonkies.
You're the BEST!
Support The Community
- Visit This Great Site!
December
21, 2007
Win iTunes | New
Music | Community
News | Monkie
News | Bananas
At
The Top: Win iTunes, New MonkiMusic - Freakin' Friday, folks! If
ya know anything about this MonkiMotorMouth, then you know it can surpass
the Energizer Bunny in duration any day of the week. But not today. This
mouth is gonna get right to the point (or points, as they would be).
 First
up, it's time for the not-so-consecutive 2nd Annual
Last Minute Monkie Christmas Giveaway! This is
your chance to Win One of
Two $25 iTunes Gift Certificates. And winning
couldn't be easier. Simply read da Rulze,
fill out the form, and pay me a million bucks...okay. Just fill out the
form. Winners will be announced on Christmas Day.
But wait...There's more! How about
some New Music? Yup! After years of
procrastination, this Monkie has finally got around to debuting 2 (plus one)
old but new Christmas songs from the Official
Unofficial Release of the Ruff
miXmas EP. Inside this package you will find an all original tune,
an arrangement mix of traditional Christmas songs with Mr. Wiles' original
touch, and...me first recording debut way back from 1967. Wow, what a
treat (you can read more about the tunes down in Monkie
News)! So eat, drink,
and be Monkie by grabbing your chance to snag Free
iTunes, get a taste of New
Monkie Music, check out the latest in Community
News, and down
it all with a big bunch of Bananas (I
could say more, but I don't want that pesky Bunny to lose his job this close
to the Holiday).
COMMUNITY
NEWS
 Mac Giving Tree Launched -
In from the folks of MacHeist is news
of the launch of Mac
Giving Tree, giving free software gifts to Mac users during this
holiday season. People who sign-up will receive two Mac software presents
which will be unwrapped on Christmas Day.
In addition, upon sign-up people will immediately receive
over $50 in Mac software including Ambrosia Software's popular audio capturing
application WireTap Pro, holiday shopping list application Santa's Gizmo,
and secure encryption application BitClamp. The Mac
Giving Tree offer will
run until midnight on Christmas Eve EST, when the presents will be unwrapped.
Get your game on and get on over to check it out!
MONKIE NEWS
 New Music - Yes, it has been
quite some time since the last release of music at the Monkie Hut. But 'tis
the Season, and 'tis time to take out the MP3's and share a little in the
Christmas Festivities. That said, there are 3 new (but old) musical compositions/arrangements
that make up Ruff miXmas EP from MonkiMaster
Bradford Wiles.
First in the list is a composition/arrangement titled Christmas
Day (A Yule Tide Drone). The piece consists of a snippet of creativity
from Mr. Wiles, accompanied by the intertwining of traditionals "We Three
Kings," "Greensleeves," and "Carol of the Bells."
Next in line is a short tune titled A
Difference, dedicated
to everyone everywhere who, no matter what you do, truly do make a difference!
This selection is more in its rough form, more resembling a "demo" tape.
Though not phonographically perfect, there was no sense in letting it sit
in the music cellars with no one to give it an ear. So now it's here to
hear!
And finally, a cute clip of a 3-year-old Monkie making his
first recorded singing debut in Brad's Christmas
Debut. This little gem was recorded back around 1967 on a Sears portable
reel-to-reel tape deck by big brother Mike. How the recording survived all
these years is anyone's guess. Perhaps just to show where the silliness began.
Who knows! But this we do: You have to take a quick click trip to Music
Downloads page
to give 'er a listen. Once there, check out the New
Releases section
and get a good giggle...Enjoy!
BANANAS
Just Plain Nutz!
Watch Your Step!
Do you know what it is like to put up fifteen hundred Christmas
lights on the roof of a house? The kids are giving two to one I'm gonna come
down the chimney before Santa Claus does.
Office Holiday Memo
To: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season
Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines
in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry
Council).
1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.
2.
Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up
an incredible long distance bill)
3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah
humbug."
4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and
through the woods to Grandma's house.
5. All fruitcake is to be eaten
BEFORE July 25.
6. Eggnog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.
In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.
Define It!
Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.
Christmas Politics
Every Christmas pageant throughout the world has a scene
showing Joseph leading Mary into Bethlehem on a donkey. Do you realize what
would happen if the Republicans asked for equal time?
December
17, 2007
Monkie Business | Bananas
At
The Top: New Music and More -
Gooooood mornin' Monkies! How is all in
the Jungle, baby? Hope it's all too cool as the Yule
Tide is splashing upon us before we can say supercalifragilisti..gilistic...exXP...ali...Good
grief! I can't even spell it, much less say it! So
anyway. While we're hoping for a good day, thought
I'd share a clue or two of the events in the days to
come.
I've had two Christmas songs I've wanted to release for
like the last 2 or 3 years and just kept putting it off. Being the borderline
perfectionist that I am, I just didn't want to let 'em loose until they were
just right. However, this year I have decided that one way or the other,
those suckers are gonna see the light of cyber space - "ready or not." Therefore,
you can expect their release by this coming Friday. And if I don't, the first
person to bring it to my attention will get a crisp new $100 bill - period!
And finally, keep your eyes open for another Christmas treat
around the same time frame. Got all that? Okie dokie. Let's get on down to
the Monkie
Business and Breakfast
Bananas to
begin this fine day!
MONKIE
BUSINESS
Odds and Ends
Ice Old -
Ice is a food and like any food, it can go "bad." Every
food code in the U.S. and Canada defines ice as food.
We eat more ice than we do bread, nearly a hundred
million tons a year or about two pounds per person
per day.
Say What? -
The short-term memory capacity for most people is between
five and nine items or digits. This is one reason
that phone numbers were kept to seven digits (not
including area code).
Squirrel Monkies! -
The squirrel monkey's brain accounts for roughly 5
percent of its body weight — the largest percentage
of any other animal. The human brain, by comparison,
makes up about 2.3 percent of body weight.
Christmas Bridge -
Christmas is a bridge. We need bridges as the river
of time flows past. Today’s Christmas should
mean creating happy hours for tomorrow and reliving
those of yesterday.
-
Gladys Taber
Anniversaries -
There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries.
- W.J. Cameron
Parting Shot -
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do
all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the
credit.
- Anonymous
BANANAS
Just Plain Nutz!
MonkiMas Music
What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells...!
12 Days of Christmas
- A Cat's Rendition
On the twelfth day of Christmas my human
gave to me:
Twelve bags of catnip!
Eleven tarter Pounce treats,
Ten ornaments hanging,
Nine wads of Kleenex,
Eight peacock feathers,
Seven stolen Q-tips,
Six feathered balls,
Five MILK JUG RINGS!
Four munchy house plants,
Three running faucets,
Two fuzzy mousies,
And a hamste-e-er in a plastic ball!!
Golf Ball Hunt
Two
young boys were spending the night at their grandparents.
At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to
say their prayers when the youngest one began praying
at the top of his lungs, "I PRAY
FOR A NEW BICYCLE. I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO. I PRAY
FOR A NEW VCR..."
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger
brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers?
God isn't deaf." To
which the little brother replied, "No, but Gramma
is!"
Santa's Laptop
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's
lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what
would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for
a minute, then gasped, "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
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