December 14, 2003

Monkie Business

Odds and Ends

Christmas Trivia

Eighty-seven percent of American children between the ages of 3 and 10 believe in Santa Claus.

Electric Christmas tree lights were first used in 1895. The idea for using electric Christmas lights came from an American, Ralph E. Morris.

It is estimated that 400,000 people become sick each year from eating tainted Christmas leftovers.

Forty percent of American adults said they expect to gain weight during the winter holiday season.

December 13, 2003

Monkie Business

Monkie Business

Odds and Ends

Are You A Grinch?

Do you reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out under your own name? (5 points)

Do you steal light bulbs from you neighbor's outdoor display to replenish your own supply? (5 points, 10 if neighbor's whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out)

Have you dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer? (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points)

Do you put out last year's stale candy canes for children? (1 point for each piece of sticky candy)

Do you enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from the local discount store in a Bloomingdale's or other prestige box to impress your friends? (5 points for each infraction)

Do you make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day? (5 points) 10 if from a cell phone, claiming you are stuck in a phone booth.

At the office Christmas party, do you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home? (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party)

After an invitation to a friend's house, do you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made? (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year).

Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no. (20 points)

Evaluate your score on the "Grinch Scale" from 20 to 100.

20-30: Where's your holiday spirit?!

30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted by the police for overdue parking tickets.

50-100: Grinch, move over. The master of Christmas crime has arrived!

December 12, 2003

Icons | Community News | Bananas

At The Top - Ho ho ho and a barrel of snow pixels! Time to break out the fun with another Friday Icon Edition. This week offers a special treat along with Community News and Christmas Bananas. So put on your party cap and let's get jolly!

New GOO!

New Icons - Jingle bells, my feet smells....WAIT! We'll have none of that! Put the Monkie back in his cage and break out the GUI napkins as we ready ourselves for a tasty Christmas Icon treat. Time to dine!

WatiWorks - The Season to celebrate is upon us, and Wati Larke of WatiWorks has given us all the right tools to complete our mission! Noel 2003 is a fabulous Icon/Desktop combo that we have proudly placed in our Monkie Bundle department. This set is certain to add Holiday cheer to your view!

miX the piX - Hein Mevissen of miX the piX masters the art of modern tech meets retro specs with a single icon spotlighting the roots of the PC revolution with Apple 1. This excellent icon pays homage to the forerunner of the Mac we know and love!

wbc icons - The Great from Yazoo of wbc icons puts the icing on the Christmas GUI cake with a Yazoo Christmas! This outstanding set will decorate your desktop Yazoo style and send the message of the Holidays to every nook and cranny of your computer. Enjoy!

Thanks Department --

Yazoo, Hein, and Wati...

Your work sends Holiday cheer around
the world many times over!

THANK YOU!!

Wanna share your work with the world?

Send Us Your Icons!

Community News

Mandolux - Mando Gomez has added a great selection of desktops this week at Mandolux. Here's the skinny:

Mandolux has issued three new desktops this week: one Vector-based (Mac OS X/Panther), one ViDRIO (Nature/Ice), and one Mesopotamia (Art/Antiquity).

The latest work is a Vector-based piece that is Mando's entry into The Mac Observer's Panther Desktop Contest. This sleek selection is now on display and ready for consumption at Mandolux. Check it out!

Bananas

Just Plain Nutz!

THIS BABY GOES 100 LAUGHS PER HOUR

What do you get when cross a joke with a motorcycle?

A Yamahahaha!

WAYS TO CONFUSE SANTA CLAUSE Part II

7. While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.

8. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy." Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a glass with a note that says, "For Santa."

9. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.

10. While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.

11. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.

12. Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.

REDNECK CHRISTMAS

You might be a redneck if your mother has ammo on her Christmas list!

WHY I'M SO TIRED

For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. Now I found out the real reason. I'm tired because I'm overworked.

The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work. Of this, there are 29 million employed by the federal government.

This leaves 19 million to do the work. Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do the work.

Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.

There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me...and you're sitting there reading jokes.

December 11, 2003

Monkie News | On The Net | Network News

Monkie News

Tomorrow: New Icons - Everybody knows that the best time of the week is Friday! And to add to weekend anticipation is your Friday Icon Edition. This week's episode will include a great lineup of plattered pixels with some Christmas cheer to boot.

Also, if you're a desktop designer, don't forget to enter The Mac Observer's Panther Desktop Picture Contest.

See you tomorrow!

On The Net

A Better Finder Rename 6.0.5 - PUBLICSPACE.NET is pleased to announce version 6.0.5 of A Better Finder Rename Macintosh Finder enhancement. The new version adds new date formats, accelerates the context menu and fixes a number of minor bugs. All the details about the update for A Better Finder Rename can be found at PUBLICSPACE.NET.

Network News

the WebWorld - BeanHead

iTunes: Full Speed Ahead - Apple's iTunes music store has sold over 20 million songs so far, and the goal is to sell 100 million songs by next April. The strategy? To keep it simple. This, according to Apple executive Peter Lowe, is the way to bring iTunes to the masses. In his keynote speech at the Music 2.0 conference, Lowe suggests that iTunes' formula for success is that many songs and few restrictions has made for a lot of downloads. - from MacCentral

Fruitcake Can't Fly - Airport employees may not know what all is in a fruitcake, but they will be scanning them this holiday season to find out. Officials say that fruitcake is so dense it would be easy to hide a weapon inside it. Those flying for the holidays should be forewarned to leave their fruitcakes at home in the fridge. Or better yet, spend their hard earned money on something different for the holidays this year. I thought that a fruitcake was already considered a hazard in and of itself. - from Cnews

December 10, 2003

Desktops | Community News | On The Net | Bananas

At The Top: $450 Desktop Picture Contest - Our friends at The Mac Observer have announced a contest for the best Panther related desktop picture. The contest offers prizes totaling over $450 in computer peripherals from Dr. Bott, FirewireDirect and Griffin Technology.

The grand prize includes El Gato's EyeTV / Remote Wonder Bundle, FirewireDirect's Spark 800 FireWire 800 2.5" hard drive enclosure / FireWire 800 1394b PCI Host Adapter, and a Mac Observer T-shirt. Total value: US$451.80!

Everyone with a submission accepted in the contest will also be eligible for a Random Drawing prize of a Griffin PowerMate and a Mac Observer T-shirt. Total value: US$56.94!

So if you're graphically inclined, get your GUI groove thang over to The Mac Observer, check out the details, and get to sending!

Now how does little old me follow an act like that? Hmmm...Dunno. How about we just mozey on down to the New GOO Department and enjoy this week's Wednesday Desktop Edition!

New GOO!

New Desktops - 'Tis the Season to be GUI. And GUI we will be in a couple of shakes. Let's looksy!

Etc. - Who's the merriest Mac of them all? A Merry Christmas greeting Macintosh style from Milosz Wlazlo would be your bestest bet this Holiday Season. This cheerful fellow comes your way from Milosz' home base of Miloszwl.com.

Holiday hound James Naylor gets into the Christmas groove with a hardy Ho Ho Ho from Santa himself. James always manages to deliver a special something, and this Christmas time is no exception.

 

Fun - Julia Nikolaeva knows no limits to fun! Oh My Rabbit! is another of Julia's exceptional desktop works from Flameia Design, the second in the series that taste great with the accompanying icon set...Oh My Rabbit!

 

3-D Rendered - How do you move a mountain with relative ease? How about a simple click on Juergen Eilts' Paramount! Juergen moves more than you can imagine with this amazing piece from ShiftedReality.

With a simple bit of Bryce and blue twinkle, MacMonkies' Wild man Wiles hangs up the Christmas ornaments with Blue Christmas. Enjoy!

 

Thanks Department --

Julia, Juergen, James, and Milosz...

Thanks for sharing your amazing abilities
with all the web!

THANK YOU!!

Have a piece you want to display?

Check out our Submissions guidelines and then send it in!

Community News

The Iconfactory - The folks at The Iconfactory are pleased to announce the first of their holiday freeware icon collections: A Christmas Story. This great collection by Anthony Piraino is based on the popular holiday movie classic from Turner Entertainment of the same name and features icons based on objects from the film. Fans of the movie will want to surf on over to The Iconfactory and pick up these new icons in either Macintosh, Windows, or iContainer format today. And remember - "Don't shoot your eye out kid!"

Mandolux - Mando Gomez updates Mandolux with a new ViDRIO desktop titled Caron. The ice and composition makes this a wonderful desktop to have and appreciate. The floating ice makes it very relaxing and it's only at Mandolux.

Rampant Mac - Tannebaum, o' tannenbauam...The tradition at Rampant Mac is now in it's fifth year! Tannebaum 2003 is ready to brighten your Mac with holiday cheer! This year's edition features a single pale green tree against a powder blue background, icicles overhead and a serene blanket of snow covering the ground. Get your Holiday GOO at Rampant Mac.

On The Net

The Omni Group - The folks at The Omni Group have let us know that they have earned two industry awards for their premiere diagramming and drawing application, OmniGraffle. OmniGraffle has received a MacUser Award, and OmniGraffle Professional has won a Macworld Eddy. Congratulations! That probably means these apps are tops! Check 'em out at The Omni Group.

iCash 1.4.3 - MAX Programming is proud to present the release of iCash 1.4.3, available now in English, German, French, Italian, Dutch, Spanish and Portuguese with several interesting improvements, new features and bug fixes. iCash is a personal finance and money manager designed to track incomes, expenses, credits, debts and banks transactions. Make the most of your money with a simple move to MAX Programming and check out iCash.

Bananas

Just Plain Nutz!

WAYS TO CONFUSE SANTA CLAUSE Part I

1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.

2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.

3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.

4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.

5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!

6. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.

OFFICE MEMO

To: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season

Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).

1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.

2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill)

3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."

4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house.

5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.

6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.

In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.

DONKEYS AT CHRISTMAS

What do donkeys send out near Christmas?

Mule-tide greetings.

December 9, 2003

Monkie News | Community News | Network News

Monkie News

Tomorrow: New Desktops - Okie doky, folkies! Now that we have the Bah Humbug Blues outta the way, we can move forward toward havin' some fun! And I imagine you have half a notion as to what's comin' up. You guessed it...Your mid-week Wednesday Desktop Edition. Tomorrow we'll put the Holiday cheer into gear with some great desktops including some for the Holidays.

And if you have some Christmas related icons or desktops you would like to share with the world, simply slip over to the Submissions area and send away! So, as Michael Rabe would say, "See ya on the flip side!"

Community News

PlasmaDesign - In association with Griffin Technology, the makers of the innovative iCurve, PlasmaDesign has today released the iCurve Collection of high quality desktop wallpapers. These images are suitable for use on Powerbook/Cinema Display combo's with a combined resolution of up to 3360x1200. For all the details on how to get your copy of the iCurve Collection, head to PlasmaDesign and grab a look.

Network News

the Web World - BeanHead

Jobs To Join Disney? - There have been rumors in the past that Disney wanted to purchase Apple, but the new scoop is that their chase is really targeted at Steve Jobs. Apparently the numbers at Disney are becoming scarce and the famous Walt Disney's nephew has even left the company. The New York Post suggests that Disney will have no choice but to offer Jobs some type of position, and even proposes the idea that Jobs would be a great choice as the next CEO of the company. - from MacObserver and The New York Post

Frosty Puts The Freeze On Timberlake - Boy band biggie Justin Timberlake got snowed by none other than Frosty The Snowman last week. In head to head television broadcasts, Frosty gave the former Mickey Mouse Club member the cold shoulder. He far out-frosted Timberlake's telecast having more than three times the viewers. The continued popularity of this classic snowman story just goes to show that when it comes to cool, Frosty's still got it! - from Yahoo

December 8, 2003

Community News | Monkie Business | On The Net | Bananas

At The Top - Work work work. All ya do is work! Ya climb the company ladder, to find yourself at the bottom of the basement steps. Phew. So, for everyone everywhere who is having the touch of the blue collar Holiday blues, this one's for you: The Bah Humbug Edition. Just the plain ol' get-right-to-it-before-the-corporate-whacks-start-to-hack edition. Let's get the humbuggers out of the way early this year so we can start livin' it up. Shall we?

Community News

Mandolux - Mando Gomez at Mandolux starts the week out with a brand new theme called Mesopotamia. The first desktop of this new collection is titled Apkallu - the winged Babylonian god with the head and wings of a griffin and the body of a man that represents sage. Swing by Mandolux and grab a look.

Live Pencil - More GUI goodies have been added to the collections of Live Pencil. Here's a list of the latest entries:

• EMOTICONS: And now the hand says...UP!
• ANIMATIONS: 3 different animation sets. From our 2003 Advent Calendar.  
• IT IS YOU:This time IT IS ME!  Please don't miss it. It's really fun!!! (You don't need to be a member to enjoy it)
• PARAGRAPH HEADERS: Last birthday candles.
• HIDDEN IMAGE.

Sharpen things up and move your writing utensil to Live Pencil.

DV Graphics - After a dry spell of five months with no new freeware icons, DV Graphics bursts back onto the Mac icon scene with two brand new sets. Urban View 2 includes some of the more popular international landmarks. Brushed Minis is a very exciting set of tiny brushed windows that takes a whole new perspective on your common application icon.  You know the drill...Do the double click all the way over to DV Graphics.

Send Us Your Site News!

press@macmonkies.com

On The Net

MaxBulk Mailer 3.0 - Just announced by MAX Programming, LLC is the latest version of MaxBulk Mailer. This Mac app is a powerful mail-merge tool that allows you to send out customized press releases, price lists and any kind of text or HTML documents to your customers. It's fast, fully customizable, and very easy to use. Version 3.0 includes tons of improvements and bug fixes. For all the latest on MaxBulk Mailer, make your way to MAX Programming and check out the details.

piDog - The folks at piDog have been as busy as elves this Holiday Season with all kinds of news.

SimpleKeys 2 is almost out of beta! This app provides an easy way to program keyboard shortcuts to do almost anything on your Mac! If you get your copy now, you'll receive $10 off the normal price of $19.99 (expires 12/17/2003).

TelnetLauncher, a tool allowing users to quickly configure shortcuts to telnet and ssh login session, has been updated for Panther. Set terminal setting (color,font and more) and access your logins at lightning speed! Several new features for Panther users have been added.

FontThing has been updated to version 1.4. This utility provides for an easy way to preview, install and activate fonts and is a great companion to FontBook on Panther.

For tons of application fun, visit your one stop shop at piDog.

Monkie Business

Odds and Ends

Cut It Out - In the show, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the Grinch cuts out a Santa beard, but never wears it.

Bah Christmas - Charles Dickens' initial choice for Scrooge's statement "Bah Humbug" was "Bah Christmas."

Scrooged - An organization called SCROOGE was formed in 1979 in Charlottesville, Virginia. The acronym stands for the "Society to Curtail Ridiculous, Outrageous and Ostentatious Gift Exchanges."

Quote Me - Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.

- Hesketh Pearson

Bananas

Just Plain Nuts

PICK UP LINES FROM SANTA'S ELVES

No, no, I don't bake cookies. You're thinking of those dorks at Keebler.

I taught Santa everything he knows.

Even Santa doesn't make candy as sweet as you.

I've got the keys to the sleigh tonight.

I can get you off the Naughty List.

CHRISTMAS CREDIT

Why is getting Christmas presents for your kids just like a day at the office?

You do all the work and the big guy in the suit gets all the credit.

SMELL OF THE YEAR

Sometimes I get the feeling that if Christmas, Father's Day, and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist!