August
20-21, 2005
At The Top: Weekend Update - Yowza! What
have we here? Well,  now that things have **finally** got closer to normal
(what is normal anyway?), we thought we'd ease back into our Weekend Updates
- which was one of the favorite followed features here at the Zoo. Was
that a run on sentence? Hmmm...SO ANYWAY!!! Wait...that would be the Bean's
line. My line would be to say, check out the Fun,
the latest Icons and
Desktops, name the Mystery
Pic and win an iTunes
Gift Certificate, enjoy the day, and we'll see you on Monday!
Pro
Icons for Pro Developers - Miloszwl.com
Bananas
Weekend Edition
Awrk, Awrk, Awrk
A magician had a job on a cruise ship doing his act for the customers during
at sea periods. The captain of this particular ship had a pet parrot; he
loved the parrot and spoiled it, catering to it constantly. This particular
parrot had a habit of going to the magician's act every time he performed
it.
After a while, the parrot began to tell the audience how the tricks were
done. Comments like "Look up his sleeve, awrk!", and "There's
a false bottom in the trunk, awrk!" became common place, so that the
people thought the team were a comedy act. This infuriated the magician,
as he took his job very seriously. However, as the parrot had the captain's
favor, he was at a loss of what to do about it.
One night, the ship sank, and the magician found himself clinging to a small
piece of wreckage. Wouldn't you know it, the parrot was perching there on
the wreckage with him. After 2 days of silence, the parrot says "Awrk
- I give up. What did you do with the ship?"
With Extra Whip Cream, Please
Three guys are about to be executed and they are asked what they wish to
have for their last meal.
The first guy responds, "Pepperoni Pizza," which
he is served and then executed.
The second requests a Filet Mignon, which
he is served and then executed.
The third requests a plate of strawberries.
"STRAWBERRIES?"
"Yes, strawberries."
He is told, "But they are out of season!"
"I'll wait."
Thank You, Dear!
Mike was in his usual place, sitting at the table, reading the paper during
breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about
to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and
common knowledge.
He turned to his wife with a look of bewilderment on his face. "I'll
never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."
His wife replies, "Why, thank you, dear!"
August
19, 2005
Icons | Community
News | Bananas
At The Top - WHOA! Sometimes you feel like
a nut, sometimes ya don't. Me, feelin' like a nut? Why of course! And what
better way to be than to pass it along with a nice round of GUI fun than
with your Friday Icon Edition. Mmm, yeah!
Some brand new pixel brew followed by some News and Bananas too...That
sounds like a pretty tasty way to wind up the work week. So without further
ado, let's get to it!
New
GOO!
New Icons -
Another dynamic duo has hit the waves of this Monkie pond as we have 2
New Icon Sets from the great beyond! Let's have a big long looksy!
 Yellow Icon - Ah...The ever amazing Everaldo
Coelho always keeps on top of pixel stardom as you can see with one of
his most recent creations called Hitchhiker's Guide
to the Galaxy! Coming from the movie of the same name, this collection
features 4 icon characters that are sure to make your Mac Happy!
 Leslie
Javorek - Before we depart from her
ulta-keen MacKool series and venture into another fine round of serial
fun, we'll take a peek at the a set from Leslie
Javorek titled MacKool
Devices. This all to clever collection will burn
down the GUI house with all kinds of cool Mac devices from Apple G5's to
the Burn tool...Enjoy!
Thanks Department --
Leslie, and Everaldo...
Your icon works are out of this world!
Keep up the great work!
THANK YOU!
Wanna share your work with the world?
Send Us Your Icons!
Community News
miX the piX - Master piXel miXer Hein Mevissen
from miX the piX  returns once again with a fine set of pixelicious portraits
found in his latest icon creation
Bacardi! This intoxicating brew of GOO includes
nearly 70 icons for both the Mac and PC. So before you get behind the wheel
and drive into crazily into cyber space, race on over to miX
the piX and
get a big blast of Hein's special new brew!
Bananas
Just Plain Nutz!
I Got a 100!
Little Debbie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, "Daddy!
Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in the
living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in
math, and 20 in science..."
I Feel Like Chicken Tonight
A woman walks into the butcher shop just before closing.
She says, "Thank Heavens I've made it in time! Have you any chicken?" The
butcher opens his fridge and takes out his only chicken, and plops it onto
the scale. It weighs 2 1/2 pounds.
"Ah, haven't you anything bigger?" the
woman inquires.
The butcher returns the chicken to the fridge, takes it out
again, and plops it onto the scale, only this time, he keeps his thumb
on the chicken. The scale shows 3 1/4 pounds. "Marvelous!" says the
woman. "I'll have both of them please."
I Created You In My Image
Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says "I want
the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women
on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women.
Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."
Said and done, the next time God looked the women are gone and there are
two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100
miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was
only one man.
God got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created
you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only
one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them
my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
And the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."
Your Guardian Angel
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand
still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and
kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was
astonished.
He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again
the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car
will run over you and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the
corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where were you when I got
married?"
August
18, 2005
Monkie News | Network
News
Monkie
News
 Tomorrow: New Desktops -
So much to do, so little time! So this ramblin' Monkie Mouth will be brief
and simply say that there's time to play as you slip back on by for tomorrow's
Friday Desktop Edition! A pair of pixelicious icon packages will be accompanied
by that Monkie fun you've come to groan and bear! So slip back on by tomorrow
for a great way to wrap up your work week!
Network
News
the WebWorld -
BeanHead
Apple OS Outdoes The Others - While many
operating systems are  leaning
toward Linux the Apple OS still remains the best. Linux look alikes may have
many similarities that are visible to the naked eye, but most of the differences
that make Tiger supreme are hidden deep within, never noticed when eyeing
the screen. And because of Apples strength in marketing, Tiger will probably
remain on top. -
from Sci-Tech
Today
Marvelous Mighty Mouse - In the midst of
a mountain of two-button computer mice that are compatible with Macs and
PCs, Apple once again flashes its flare with the new Mighty Mouse. It is
not the only two-button mouse that is usable with an Apple, but it is definitely
the coolest looking one, following Apple suit by not sacrificing style. Perhaps
the most fashionable feature is that there are no buttons found on it at
all. - from MacNewsWorld
Car Batteries Bash Gas Prices - An electrical
engineer has powered up  his Toyota Prius with extra batteries and car companies
are starting to take notice. Why? Because by beefing up the battery power
of hybrid cars, experimenters have been able to get anywhere from 80 to 120
miles to the gallon. The technology of "plug-in" cars with extra
charging power could cause Americans to save on gas money. -
from Excite
August
17, 2005
Desktops | Community
News | Bananas
 At
The Top - And the survey says...There's no time like now to enjoy
a run of fun with everyone's favorite GUI gala - Your Wednesday
Desktop Edition! Fresh new "wallpaper" wonders grace the Gallery
as well as a round of Community News and Bananas to boot. And even if you
have no boots about, you can still get a real big kick out of all this
installment has to offer. So dig in them heals and let's have a real big
blast of fun!
New GOO!
New Desktops -
Whoever said "If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding," obviously
hasn't visited the Monkie Cafe on Wednesdays! Here you get to have your
dessert with 4 New Desktops BEFORE having to
consume what's "good for you." But at the same time, everything here on the
menu is enjoyable to consume. So let's kick back and get the sweet treats
and then move on to even more fun!
Logos - Quite the fan of all things Apple
oriented, Francisco  Bennett
of XÅERO
STUDIOS steps in with his Logo expertise and one of his most recent
creations titled Finding
Nemo! Francisco gives you a cool glimpse of the animation stars
through the "letter box" glass of the Pixar smash hit!
Desktops - Burning up your desktop with
a sizzling new number,
me "big" little Monkie brother Todd
Darland portrays that mean ol' mythical monster with Dragon's
Flight! This gigantic reptile with lion's claws and the tail of
a serpent is best captured in still form rather than in real life...Yikes!
Back in the GUI groove, Mr. Ed "No Longer Missing In Action" Allen
of Ed Allen Design Studios returns
with a most excellent selection titled Hell
Is Round The Corner! Ed takes his signature style to an all new level
with plenty of pixel polish and a groove that will chase the Hell hounds
off your tail!
For the final desktop "box," MacMonkies' Bradford
Wiles  plays around with one of his previous creations and Image
Tricks from BeLight Software to create DNA
W! With the simple click of one of the app's cool filters, the
original pic became an all new concoction. And if you're the first
to correctly identify the original, we'll send you a $10 iTunes Gift
Certificate. Just let us know...Enjoy!
Thanks Department --
Ed, Todd, and Francisco...
Gentlemen: Your works are the tops in pixel
pops!
THANK YOU!
Have a piece you want to display?
Check out our Submissions guidelines
and then send it in!
Community News
Iconfactory Releases Futurama Vol.1 - The
fine folks from The Iconfactory  have
announced good news for everyone with this week's freeware icon release
titled Futurama
Vol.1! Straight from the
year 3000 and New New York City, this fantabulous set by Gedeon
Maheux offers
up super-cool icons of the entire Planet Express team from the hit animated
Fox TV show Futurama. Favorites like Bender, Leela, Fry and even Nibbler
are just waiting for you to unfreeze them in the Showroom.
So get your mouse on the move and grab this cool collection from The
Iconfactory today!
Your Mac Life - What's new in Your
Mac Life?
Let's have a look!  Joining the Your Mac Life gang this week will be Holmes
Wilson, co-director of Participatory
Culture and the creators of DTV - a large-scale Internet video creation
and distribution platform which, because it is based on open standards and
open source software, will be available to everyone. But it's available
to Mac users first! Also, a lot of students are going back to school in the
coming month and, thanks to a couple of kind listeners who have donated prizes,
Your Mac Life will reward two of them with either a $50.00 iTunes Music Gift
Certificate or an iPod mini! Tune in Wednesday night to find out how to win
at Your Mac Life!
Bananas
Just Plain Nutz!
Assorted Thoughts Part
II
8. Our policy is to always blame the computer.
9. Your secrets are safe with
me and all my friends.
10. Take my advice. I'm not using it!
11. Mom, I'll always love you, but
I'll never forgive you for cleaning my face with spit on a hanky.
12. By
the time you find greener pastures, you can't climb the fence!
13. This
house is protected by killer dust bunnies.
14. Every time I get the urge
to exercise, I lie down till the feeling passes.
Female Financier
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter.
She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Circus Job
A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle
he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between
bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his
hands up like claws and roar...so it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step,
ROAR all the way down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the
time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and
more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time
he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and
said, "I was being the Ring Bear!"
Groanin' Butcher
A man walks into a butcher shop and orders a pound of sausages.
The butcher prepares the order, then says, "I bet you the price of
those sausages that you can't get those pieces of meat down off the shelf
behind me."
The man regards the shelf carefully, then says, "I'm not betting...The
steaks are too high."
August
16, 2005
Monkie News | On
The Net | Network
News
Monkie
News
Tomorrow: New Desktops -
Get ready to pump up the pixel jams as we have an exciting round of new GOO
headed your way tomorrow for your Wednesday Desktop Edition! The return of
the works from one "long lost" artist will grace these pages, as well as
other favorites will be a delight for your eyes. So while you're waiting
for these desktop gems, check out the latest in SW
News On The Net and Network
News!
On The Net
Iconfactory Releases IconBuilder 8.0.1 - Always
paying close attention to pixel perfection, the folks from The
Iconfactory have released the latest version of their Fireworks and Photoshop
filter - IconBuilder
8.0.1! The latest update squashes
a bug relating to Japanese systems and another with Photoshop palette problems.
It also adds small features regarding marquee creation and duplicate resource
checking. Don't settle for second best...Grab your updated copy of IconBuilder from
the pixel masters at The Iconfactory today!
Selznick Scientific Software Releases SmartWrap 2.5 -
Just in from Selznick
Scientific Software is news of their latest software
release: SmartWrap
2.5. This cool textual tool analyzes your text, detects
paragraphs and lists within your text, and rewraps your text so it wraps
naturally within your document or message. Version 2.5 offers several
improvements and bug fixes. So if you really want your words to get around,
get your copy of SmartWrap from Selznick
Scientific Software and wrap it up!
Network
News
the WebWorld -
BeanHead
Cinderella Apple - Award-winning director
Ron Howard settles for  nothing but the best, which is why he turned to Apple
in making his blockbuster hit Cinderella Man. Howard was determined to depict
the era of the depression digitally, and the authenticity was accomplished
through none other than the program Shake. Using Shake and a Power Mac G5
over 130 visual effects were rendered to make the movie scenes look real. -
from Apple
Doctor Apple - An Apple a day keeps the doctor
away. That must be the reason Apple computers hardly ever break down. None-the-less,
Apple is becoming more and more fix-it friendly through its retail store
personnel. With an Apple store accessible almost everywhere in the United
States, help is up close and personal when needed. Any number of Apple re-seller
stores can help sick Apples as well. - from MacNewsWorld
Mobile Phone "Jerk-O-Meter" - Cell
phone software is being plugged  which determines whether the callee is paying
attention to the caller. "Jerk-O-Meter" sheds light on the listeners
attention by generating a percentage based on speech patterns and voice tones.
A hundred percent means the caller has the listeners full attention and zero
percent means they might as well have not called in the first place. -
from Excite
August
15, 2005
Community News | On
The Net | Monkie
Business | Bananas
 At The Top -
Gooooood morning, sunshine! And that's just what I got whilst playing away
last week - lots of sun. So much so, that this Monkie resembles a lobster!
But it was good, real good (getting away, that is). Anyhoo, enough about
me. Now is the time to kick off this day with a big fat ol' smile and
work our way toward the bottom of another work week's end. Are ya ready?
Uno, dos, tres, catorce...
Community
News
Live Pencil Updates -
Recently added to the GUI galleries of Live
Pencil is a whole new round of
pixelicious fun! Here's a look at the latest:
- New EMOTICONS - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
- New EMOTICONS - It's your birthday!
- New EMOTICONS - And more yet to
come...
- Just for fun. 10 DIFFERENCES - An old Noah picture.
If you haven't had your fill of the ultimate in fun, swing over to Live
Pencil and get your GUI blues on the run!
On The Net
 Marc Moini Release 3D-Space VFS 1.4 - From
the software gems by Marc
Moini comes
the release of 3D-Space
VFS 1.4! This
amazing tool combines the Launcher, Dock, and Finder features with elegant
3D drawers to give you easy point and-click access to all of your favorite
files and apps without having to sift through folders. You can navigate
your existing folders and view their contents as 3D spaces. New in version
1.4:
- New navigation bar.
- New highlighting option for selected items, they can
now pulsate or
bounce.
- New customizable defaults for new 3D spaces: select any 3D space
to be used as template for new ones.
- New preference setting lets you
keep your home 3D space anywhere.
- New Japanese and German versions.
- Compatibility fixes for Mac OS X 10.4.2
Exposé and drag and drop
between 3D spaces.
- Smarter drawers will now remain open longer when needed,
such as when making a menu selection.
- Localization improvements, including
proper handling of files with
non-Roman characters in their name.
- The settings for Arranged by Size,
Date Added, Date Modified, Date Created, are now correctly preserved.
- Misc. other fixes and improvements.
So if you're looking for a finder that's far into the future, grab your
copy of 3D-Space VFS and blast passed the past!
Monkie Business
Odds and Ends
The Cow's Moo-Wow - The famous cow used as
the corporate symbol on all Elmer's products is actually named Elsie, and
she is the spouse of Elmer, the steer who the company is named after.
Warming The Eskimos - Over the many centuries
of living in the Arctic, Eskimos' bodies have adapted to the cold. Eskimos
tend to be short and squat, which brings their arms and legs closer to the
heart, so there is less danger of freezing. Extra fat around the torso protects
their internal organs from the cold. The metabolism of Eskimos is also set
a little higher than other people's. As a result, they burn their food faster
to stay warm. Their veins and arteries are also arranged to carry more warming
blood to their hands.
Leno's Classic Cars - TV talk show host Jay
Leno owns more than 30 classic cars and more than 40 motorcycles. His first
automobile was a 1934 Ford V-8 truck which he restored himself at the age
of 14.
Drive My Car - Most cars on our roads
have only one occupant, usually the driver.
- Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman
Oops - Yes, ma'am? Right here, this
lady. No, she! Yes, right, second row. Next to the guy in the blue shirt,
holding her left hand up. It's a he? Sorry about that. Gotta be careful.
I'm very sorry. Go ahead! I'm, excuse me, I'm very sorry. Go, ah, I, a thousand
apologies, go ahead.
- George Bush Sr.
Can You Hear Me Now? - Can you hear me?
Squeeze once for yes and twice for no.
- Police detective questioning a wounded
officer
Bananas
Just Plain Nutz!
Here's Your Sign(s)
The difference between insane asylums and our schools is that in the insane
asylum you have to show some improvement before you can get out.
When it snows, do the home school kids get the day off?
What comes first, new schools or portable classrooms?
Free one dollar bills! Please send $4.95 to cover postage & handling.
(Limit $1 per order).
Holy Biblemobiles
What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
Jehovah drove Adam and Eve
out of the Garden in a Fury and David's Triumph was heard throughout
the land.
Assorted Thoughts Part I
1. I'm not aging, I just need re-potting.
2. I don't repeat gossip, so listen
carefully.
3. Lord, if I can't be skinny, let all my friends be fat.
4. My idea of cleaning
the house is sweeping the floor with a glance.
5. I cleaned my house yesterday.
Sure wish you could have seen it.
6. This isn't clutter; these are my antiques!
7. Discover wildlife! Have
kids!
Remote
Stanford called the vet, "Doctor, you've got to come right over! My
pet pig just ate the TV remote control!"
"I'll be right there."
"Thanks,
but what do I do in the meantime?"
The vet said, "Read a magazine."
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