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July 24, 2009

At The Top: WritePad Pro Released; NEW Desktop Pic Available - Dear America...It's not her fault. Really. I tried and tried to explain, but she just doesn't get it. I mean really. Who on earth doesn't know what Fantabulous Fridays are like here at The Monkie Hut?!! Yeah baby! It's here and upon you...We have all the facts to follow: Found down in new Software On The Net, PhatWare has just released WritePad Pro for your iPhone. And of course, there a BRAND NEW Desktop found down and around the NEW GOO Department. But WAIT! There's more!! One just can't walk away from the play without a round of Bananas from the Coconutz tree. Added all up, you have some Pretty Hot And Tempting treats to tantalize your tongue...Taste away!

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NEW GOO!

New Desktop - The wandering eye of MacMonkies Master Wiles has once again gathered a glimpse of Nature's best kept secret: the great outdoors of Wonderful Wyoming. Let take a peek at what's on this week's pixel palette.

Nature - Before you pass by the lack of bold and bright colors in this week's fine feature, take a really close look at the rustic and gushing glamour found in Spring Creek, the latest shot from Bradford Wiles' trusty iPhone. This all too cool classic capture of the winding road into Smith Creek sports the Spring water run-off forming a somewhat impassable creek through the middle of the road. But believe it or not, even the teeny tiny '94 Ford Aspire can pass successfully through this rush of water without drowning or as much as a spit or sputter. And a finer eye will filter out the brushstrokes and catch glimpse of the flow and greener side of things...Enjoy!

 

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To all of you...

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On The Net

Software Updates

WritePad Pro Released for iPhone - The ultimate organizer for notes, affairs, events, and voice notes for iPhone and iPod Touch using advanced handwriting recognition technology for input - WritePad Pro - has just been released for the fine folks of PhatWare! This most amazing tool is a combination of three previously released applications - WritePad Affairs, WritePad Notes, and WritePad Events. It also features voice notes. The data can be organized in multiple folders, which can be sorted by type, name, and color. WritePad Pro is available at the iTunes AppStore for only $9.99. Detailed information can be found simply by clicking your way over to PhatWare today!

BANANAS

Just Plain Nutz!

Simply Wong

The other day I was eating in an Italian restaurant when I accidentally spilled some spaghetti sauce on my favorite white sweater.

I wasn't too distressed, though, because Mr. Wong down on High Street has been doing my laundry for years, and I knew that he could remove just about any stain and get it out like it'd never been there.

So I took the sweater down to Wong's Laundry and dropped it off; Mr. Wong said he'd probably be able to have it cleaned by Thursday. So on Thursday afternoon after work I stopped by Wong's again.

Mr. Wong looked quite distressed when he saw me. He brought out the sweater and, apologizing profusely, explained that somehow this stain was beyond even his power to expunge.

And sure enough, though fainter than before, there was still a distinct red stain on the sweater. In an attempt to make up for his failure, Mr. Wong offered to send the sweater to his brother across town, who had been in the laundry business for an even longer time, and who might have a clue as to the method of removal of this extraordinarily persistent stain.

The elder Wong brother would rush it through at no extra charge, and should have it looking as white and clean as new by Friday. So on Friday I went back to Wong's to pick up my sweater, but when I arrived, Mr. Wong regretfully informed me that his brother, too, had failed to remove the red blotch. "No charge," said Wong, "but you must take sweater elsewhere to clean."

The Moral: Two Wongs cannot make a white.

Too Much Fun

Mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Hey you, get out of here...we don't serve your kind!" The mushroom looks completely abashed: "Why not? I'm a fun guy."

Wouldn't It Be Nice?

Ever heard of the wooden car with wooden wheels and a wooden engine?

It wooden run.

In Smoke

Luke and Obi-Wan are in a Chinese restaurant having a meal. Skillfully using his chopsticks, Obi-Wan deftly dishes himself a large portion of noodles into his bowl, then tops it off with some chicken and cashew nuts. All this is done with consummate ease you'd expect from a Jedi Master.

Poor old Luke is having a nightmare, using his chopsticks in both hands, dropping his food all over the table and eventually himself.

Obi-Wan looks at Luke disapprovingly and says, "Use the FORKS, Luke."

July 22, 2009

At The Top: Quick Note - No que sé siempre realmente lo que estoy diciendo, solamente yo los pensamientos lo concluyó sería una rotura agradable hablando en una lengüeta tienen no haber dominado. Tan si usted necesita una traducción (translation), después allí usted la tiene… de otra manera, there' s que sucede no mucho en el extremo de la comunidad. Pero hay un ciertas noticias pues cuarto del expediente del No-Día de fiesta de los postes de Apple. También rompieron su expediente para las ventas cuartas del mac de junio. ¡Bueno bastante zurcida! Con excepción de eso, tenemos el futuro a parecer delantero y para ver cómo cualquier rumor particular puede o no puede revelar.

Alrighty entonces… todo el that' s dejado es comprobar hacia fuera las últimas Noticias de Monkie y asir un Plátano hasta que le veamos todo otra vez más adelante esta semana. ¡Día de chepa feliz a usted!

MONKIE NEWS

Coming up - Well then...The above language "flip" took more wind out of me than expected! So I will make this quick...Somewhere around Friday (or maybe EXACTLY), we'll have yet another new Desktop for your Eye Candy eyes. PHEW! That quick enough?

BANANAS

Just Plain Nutz!

Dating Dinosaur Bones

Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"

The guard replies, "They are 3 million, four years, and six months old."

"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?"

The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."

July 20, 2009

Monkie Business | Bananas

At The Top: Nodda - Good Mon-Dayn morning! Not much new inside of the zoo. Just writing a note to you to say that there is news of New Goo still to come with fun in the sun in just a few (days that is). Until that time arrives, we'll simply have to slide on down to the latest in odd stuff and laughs as we present the latest editions of Monkie Business and Bananas...But wait...Nope. You won't get two for the price of one if you call now. Just a single shot is what's hot. So get it while it's cold. Is there something I should know? Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care?

MONKIE BUSINESS

Odds and Ends

Sinking - The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

Moosing Around - A law in Fairbanks, Alaska, does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.

- Robert Frost

A Youthful Mind - Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.

- Charles Bixton

Parting Shot - Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is ten, or something.

- Dennis Rodman

BANANAS

Just Plain Nutz!

Confucius Say...

Confucius says, "A constipated man does not give a crap."

Gone Camping

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they were exhausted and went to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that The lord is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have, a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot, Someone has stolen our tent!"

Stop That!

A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night.

Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up.

Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!"

The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure miss, which way was it headed?""

Up In Smoke

Three guys are convicted of a very serious crime, and they're all sentenced to twenty years in solitary confinement. They're each allowed one thing to bring into the cell with them. The first guy asks for a big stack of books. The second guy asks for his wife. And the third guy asks for two hundred cartons of cigarettes. At the end of the twenty years, they open up the first guy's cell. He comes out and says, "I studied so hard. I'm so bright now, I could be a lawyer. It was terrific." They open up the second guy's door. He comes out with his wife, and they've got five new kids. He says. "It was the greatest thing of my life. My wife and I have never been so close. I have a beautiful new family. I love it." They open up the third guy's door, and he's slapping at his pockets, going "Anybody got a match?"