July
17, 2009
At The Top: BRAND NEW Desktop! - One thing
you don't want to say to your
pregnant wife is "Retaining water? Yeah,
like the Hoover Dam retains water..." Well, I don't have a wife and
of course she's not pregnant (and I'll never have one either if I keep
this up)! But what I do have is a splash of fun to fill the finalities
of your Friday. What's in store? A VERY nice New
Desktop/Wallpaper down
in the
NEW GOO Department and another
round of Bananas so
that at least someone can have the last laugh (obviously not me with my
girlfriend standing right behind me). So, enjoy the new artwork, get a
good laugh, and STAY AWAY FROM WOMEN JOKES AT ANY AND ALL COST!
Support The Community
- Visit This Great Site!
NEW
GOO!
New Desktop -
Lady luck and creation's creativity continue to visit Master Monkie Wiles
as he offers up a fine new piece of eye candy for your pupil pleasures. Let's
have a looksy!
Nature - As the seasons
in Wyoming have changed drastically over  the
years (more rain, snow, wind, fires, and floods), so has the luck of being
in the right place at the right time for pixel pursuer Bradford
Wiles.
Just following a power outage preceded by bunches and buckets of rain,
Master Monkie just happened to have his trusty iPhone in place in order
to capture the view After
The Storm. With a few color adjustments and
the Crosshatch filter in Photoshop, this pic should storm its way to a
top spot in your desktop favorites...Enjoy!
Thanks Department --
To all of you...
For taking the time to stop by for a view!
THANK YOU!
Have a piece you want to display?
Check out our Submissions guidelines
and then send it in!
BANANAS Just Plain Nutz!
Only Three Doors
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess.
The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival,
the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to
eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route,
he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in
at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the
phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't
get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she
sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign
on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
Why The Dinosaurs Died
Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at a
tiny, although measurable distance from the earth every year. If you do the
math, you can calculate that 85 million years ago the moon was orbiting the
earth at a distance of about 35 feet from the earth's surface.
This would explain the death of the dinosaurs...the tallest
ones, anyway.
Mr. Spock
Q: What did Mr Spock say when he looked in the toilet?
A: Captains Log.
Shut Up Already!
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to
walk and talk, and the next Twenty-four years telling them to sit down and
shut up!
July
15, 2009
Bananas
At The Top: Another
New Desktop On Its Way -
What's the best way to fly
by the Hump Day Bump in the middle of the work week road? Mmmm, I don't
know either. But never the no mind. Mr. Monkie (or "Mister" as some have
come to know him) has actually had a current streak of creativity with
a call from Mother Nature and everyone's friendly iPhone.
That said, get ready for a rather spiffy pic available this Friday right
here at the Monkie Hut. Anything else? Perhaps a pair of baby-puke green
eyes staring back at ya from the midnight skies... Oh, wait. A couple a
overripe Bananas might add to your Midnesday...
BANANAS
Just Plain Nutz!
As The Bar Crows
There
was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own
business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and -- WHACK!!
-- knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big dude says, "That
was a karate chop from Korea." The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but
he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden
-- WHACK!! -- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was
a judo chop from Japan." So the little guy has had enough of this...
He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves.
The little guy is gone
for an hour or so when he returned. Without saying a word, he walks up
behind the big dude and -- WHAM!!!" -- knocks the big dude off his stool, knocking
him out cold!!! The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When
he gets up, tell him that's a crowbar from Sears.
Stop It!
A couple is reading the paper, the wife says: This article
on overpopulation of the world says that somewhere in the world there is
a woman having a baby every four seconds! Her husband not to appear uninterested
said; I think they ought to find that woman and stop her!
July
13, 2009
On
The Net | Monkie
| Business | Bananas
At
The Top: - Icky-icky-poo-poo-cah-cah! Monday the 13th...Shouldn't
this be worse than Friday the 13th? Mondays tend to suck as is. But to
pair it up with a thirteen...EEEEEEeeeeyuck! All it leads to is complaining
and complainers should be SHOT. And that would mean I would have one more
hole in my head to let the air pass through...Moving right along...This...dotted
Mon...day comes with its regular dose of Monkie
Business and Bananas...But
also with To•The•Point Software's latest release of TaskTime4 which is found down On The Net. So let's dot on down around Monkie Town
and turn that frown up-side-down!
On
The Net
Software Updates
 TaskTime4
v4.6.2 Released - Those ever fantabulous folks
from over at To•The•Point
Software have let it be known that they've just released TaskTime4
v4.6.2. This all too cool Mac tool provides a straightforward
method of tracking time spent on jobs you do for your clients. It can generate
invoices which can be emailed, printed, and saved to disk. New in this
version:
-
Option to set project status to "Overdue" at
a specified interval after sending invoice.
-
Popup of optional presets for invoice
watermark
-
Invoice button added to Manger window
So, you say you need more info? There is a cure for the curious. Simply
slide on over to To•The•Point Software and get all the latest on TaskTime4 like
now!
MONKIE
BUSINESS
Odds and Ends
On Albert - Einstein
declined the presidency of the state of Israel when it was offered to him
in 1952 by state leaders. The element einsteinium, discovered in 1952, was
named in honor of Albert Einstein. Picture of Einstein sticking his tongue
was taken on his 72nd birthday by annoying press photographer Arthur Sasse.
Albert loved the photo so much that he cut his image out and send it to all
his friends.
Not Easy Being Green -
It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The frog throws
up its stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of its mouth. Then the
frog uses its forearms to dig out all of the stomach's contents and then
swallows the stomach back down again.
Sounds Fishy - I know I'm an acquired taste:
I'm anchovies. And not everyone wants those hairy little things. If I was
potato chips, I could go more places.
- Tori Amos
Time and Time Again - You
will never find time for anything. If you want time, you must make it.
- Charles Bixton
Parting Shot - Friendship
is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm
feeling that it brings.
- Unknown
BANANAS
Just Plain Nutz!
0 to 200 in 6 seconds
Bob was
in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a
gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE
THERE!!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When
his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway,
brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
A Really Bad Day!
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink.
He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the
drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying.
The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy
you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall
asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I
leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said
that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it,
I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives
away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in
bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when
I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my
poison."
Digital Clock
Q: What did the digital clock say to his mother?
A: Look ma no hands!
Imagine That
Can you believe what people do in the church these days?
I was in the church listening to the preacher's sermon when I saw a guy
smoking cigarettes inside the church.
I was so amazed that i didn't notice that the bottle of beer i was holding
fell on the floor.
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