May
20-22, 2005
At
The Top - Are you one of those hard core cronies who stood
in line for  hours to get your seat of choice to the Star
Wars final episode? Nope. Not me. If I had to wait that long, I would have had
to have my walker, No Doze, and box of Depends handy just to
make to the front doors! Though some have said that Episode
III - Revenge of the Sith is one of the ultimate best in the series, this Monkie will
just have to wait until those long lines dwindle down a tad. But I digress...
No,
maybe I don't! If you're like me, you'll need something to pass the time
while the wait winds down. And what better way to spend at least one day
postponing the suspense than with your Friday GUI
Edition?! Hey, that sounds
pretty darned good and GUI tootin'! So let's kick off the wait and the weekend
with a round of GUI fun followed by Bananas to put your blues on the run.
Ready, steady...ACTION!
Pro
Icons for Pro Developers - Miloszwl.com
New
GOO!
Friday GUI Edition - PHEW! We finally made
it! With the ever interesting ways of the Monkie gone wildly rampant, it
was time to combine all things goody and GOO for a fun filled Friday
GUI Edition. So gathered together is a fine line of both Icons and Desktops.
'Nuff said here. Let's have a look!
New Icons -
Oh my, yes! With a combo of 2 New Icon Sets, we're about to be blessed.
Let's have a looksy!
 Yellow
Icon - Go ahead and call me OLD!
I was but a teen when the original block bustin' space flick
Star Wars hit the box office. And boy, was it a hit! Now, 28 years later,
the final installment continues make an impact...Just as you will find
in the amazing pixel collection of Star
Wars Icons by Everaldo Coelho
of Yellow Icon. May the
Force be with you!
 Steven Ansell - Ice, ice baby! Well, okay.
The latest icon collection by Steven
Ansell isn't exactly an old rap under pressure. But if you really want
to chill out, the iceCubes ought
to really do the trick. Steven incorporates his unique blend of creativity
with a cool style that results in a must have System replacement set!
New Desktops -
We can't have a complete show without a round of "wallpaper" wonders! So
howz about 3 New Desktops to please the tired
old eyes. That sounds grrrreat!
3-D Rendered - Skillfully gathering a
colorful collection of different geometric
sizes and shapes, Dave
Hornsby creates perhaps one of his finest selections to date with Sculpture
3c. Inside this pixel perfect view you'll find a hue that
will be a-maze-ment to your desktop's backdrop and give
your eyes satisfaction beyond belief. Just you **try** get pry away
your eyes!
Featuring
a "rock star-studded" view of the final frontier, Eric "Lunar"  Uner offers
a glimpse of the universe with Kaitain
Moon. Another of his out-of-this-world creations, Eric made
use of Bryce and Photoshop to make the most of his imagination that
runs circles around the rest of artificial recreational creation. Now
that we've been lost in space, how do we get back?!!
Desktops - Yikes! Talk about a weird way
to wake up from a bad dream;
only to find the Devil
In Details staring you in the face! This spine-chilling, phantasmal
nightmare created by Neil
Roberts may make folks of faintheartedness even more fearful, but
the cool illusion and Power above will put those ghoulish pixels in their
place...Square on your desktop amazing your eyes!
Thanks Department --
Everaldo, Steve, Dave, Eric, and Neil...
Your dedication to design certainly amazes
the masses!
Keep it up!!!
THANK YOU!
Wanna share your work with the world?
Send Us Your Material!
Bananas
Just Plain Nutz!
New Sign
Driving through Southern California, I stopped at a roadside stand that
sold fruit, vegetables, and crafts.
As I went to pay, I noticed the young woman behind the counter was painting
a sign.
"Why the new sign?" I asked.
"My boyfriend didn't approve of the old one," she said.
When I glanced at what hung above the counter, I understood. It declared, "Local
Honey, Dates, Nut."
Redneck Toilet Paper
You might be a redneck if your toilet paper has page numbers on it!
Buying A Cow
A farmer had been taken advantage of several times by the local car dealer.
One day, the car dealer informed the farmer that he was coming over to purchase
a cow.
The farmer priced his cow as follows:
Basic cow 499.95
Shipping and handling 35.75
Extra stomach 79.25
Two tone exterior 142.10
Produce storage compartment 126.50
Heavy duty straw chopper 189.60
Four spigot/high output drain system 149.20 Automatic fly swatter 88.50
Genuine cowhide upholstery 179.90
Deluxe dual horns 59.25
Automatic fertilizer attachment 339.40
4 x 4 traction drive assembly 884.16
Pre-delivery wash and comb 69.80
FARMER SUGGESTED LIST PRICE: 2843.36
Additional dealer adjustments: 300.00
TOTAL LIST PRICE (Including options): $3143.36
Blonde Data
Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.
May
19, 2005
Monkie News | Network
News
Monkie
News
 Tomorrow:
New GOO - Don't
know about you, but this Monkie is already getting an itch from not getting
a GUI fix during our regularly scheduled mid-week Desktop Madness. So as
to make it up to you (and me too), we'll combine a collection of BOTH Icons
and Desktops to make for a Friday GUI Edition! Howz that for a big switcheroo!
Well, we've done it before. So you don't need to snore, at least too much
anyway. So be sure to slip back on Friday for plenty of fun fried up Monkie
style!
Network
News
the WebWorld -
BeanHead
Designing Apple - Apple is the top name listed
in the results of a survey asking respondents to list companies that have
the most innovative design. The survey opened the option of choosing companies
worldwide and Apple is sitting on the top of the world. Many people in management
don't see design as a priority when working on the budget, but Apple is proving
that design is a very important key in the strategy of success. -
from PRNewswire
Weeding Out Windows - Some are predicting
a massive power shift in the world of technology in which Microsoft will
no longer monopolize the market. Speculations say that with Yahoo starting
music subscription services and Google trying to control all technology terrain
the maker of Windows will weaken and weaken. Combine these factors with Apple
controlling music and video in the future and Microsoft is sure to falter. -
from MacNN
Technology Tracks Methane - Global gurus
are gushing over the ability to  measure the amounts of Methane in the air
via satellite. These gases are tracked by measuring the intensity of the
sunlight when it reaches the satellite. Light is dimmer when it has passed
through gases. The most gas tracked has been found in the country of India
due to its cattle and rice farms. Satellites spotting gases could be an important
tool in the future of the environment. - from WebIndia123
May
18, 2005
Community News | Bananas
 At
The Top: No New GOO Today - As mentioned yesterday,
the fate of this week's Wednesday Desktop Edition was uncertain. After
much thought, it was decided that rather than throw together some GOO in
a haphazard manner, we would wait until time permits to add more quality
and care for your eye candy enjoyment. As for your Friday Icon Edition,
it is still planned to arrive on time and may be accompanied by some
extra treats. Until then, let's boogie with Stue and grab a smile here
at the Monkie Zoo!
Community News
The Iconfactory - If revenge
is best served cold, then you might be frightfully  pleased to be informed
of The Iconfactory's latest freeware icon release titled Kill
Bill! This
slick set of over 20 freeware icons by resident pixel artist David
Lanham is based on the cult movie series from Quentin Tarantino and
features items and themes from the films. If you enjoyed watching the Bride
slice and dice her way through the Crazy 88, or wondered at the awesome power
of Hanzo steel, then this icon set is for you. The set is available in the
Showroom at The
Iconfactory today for Mac, PC or as a searchable Pixadex iContainer. Go get 'em, Bill! NOTE: This
icon set contains mature content.
Steven Ansell - Updating his site
with a fresh new coat of pixel paint, Steven
Ansell has sports new look
along with a couple of new icon sets. The appearance is clean and crispier
than ever before and the new icons are must-have additions to your favorite
pixel pleasurables. So before the GUI goodness melts in your mouth, get
your hands on that mouse and check out the latest from Steven
Ansell!
miX the piX - Pixel miXer Hein Mevissen of
miX the piX has just announced  the
release of a small extension on his previous Simple Tiger System set titled Xtra
Simple Tiger Folders!
This cool and ultra smooth new set contains 6 different new folders that
your eyes just can't live without. In addition, Hein is working on a bigger
new icon set, but you'll just have to wait for its arrival for an even bigger
better GUI smile. So whilst you're in the wait, check out the latest pixel
plate found at miX the piX!
Bananas
Just Plain Nutz!
Thanks For Flying
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his
ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy, which required
the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, give
a smile, and a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in
light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the
eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment, but no one seemed
annoyed.
Finally everyone had gotten off except for one little old lady walking with
a cane. She approached and asked, conspiratorially, "Sonny, mind if
I ask you a question?"
"Why no Ma'am, what is it?"
"Did we land or were we shot down?"
Cow At Cranberry Cove
What do you call a cow murder mystery?
A moo-done-it.
Golf Buddies
There was an old man named Bill, and one of the things he most enjoyed was
playing golf with his old buddy Fred. Bill's wife always commented on how
happy he looked after a game.
But one day he came home from their weekly game looking terrible and very
tired. His wife asked, "What's the matter, Bill? You always seem so
happy after golf and you look miserable right now."
Bill said, "Well, something terrible happened. Fred had a heart attack
on the first hole."
"Oh my, honey!" said the wife, rushing to comfort him. "That
must've been terrible!"
"It was," he said. "All day long it was: hit the ball, drag
Fred to the ball, and then hit it again..."
Long Sermon
A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave
during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the conclusion
of the service. Afterward the pastor asked the man where he had gone.
"I
went to get a haircut," was the reply.
"But," said the pastor, "why didn't you do that before the service?"
"Because,"
the gentleman said, "I didn't need one then."
May
17, 2005
Monkie News | Network
News
Monkie
News
 Tomorrow: New Desktops? -
Once again, little Miss-Fortune has struck with her bad "luck" here at the
Monkie Hut. Whilst updating iTunes, I got a peculiar
error that would not allow it to start the updated version. Not being the
wiser, I figured I could use Panther's Disc 2 containing the Mac apps to
reinstall **just** iTunes, as I have not received my copy of Tiger yet (another
long story). Perhaps needless to say, that was not a very good idea. iTunes
still wouldn't run and now the Finder acts funny as no Menu Bar appears.
After speaking with Apple's tech support, their only recommendation
was to Archive and Install. Though that's all fine and dandy, it is still
time consuming as many things do not transfer to the updated system and they
have to be transferred "manually." This is a must before upgrading to Tiger.
All of that said, tomorrow's Wednesday Desktop Edition
may be postponed until later this week or perhaps next week. There is still
a chance it will make it on time tomorrow, but I won't make any promises
the way things have been going. Either way, we appreciate your patience and
apologize for the inconvenience. We'll keep you posted!
Network
News
the WebWorld -
BeanHead
Halo Effect Heralded To Be True - The halo
effect of Apple's iPod is more than  just a rosy way of stating a hypothesis
of something that may or may not happen. While it is true that the halo effect
is what Apple has hoped for, it has become more than a theory. People are
in a prime time of buying their second or third computers now, and it is
a provable fact that those who have experienced the iPod are buying Macs
instead of PCs. The iPod is the charm. -
from MacNewsWorld
Subscription Services Don't Stand A Chance -
Analyst Merrill Lynch is convinced that subpar subscription services will
never be a match for Apple's iTunes. Other music services, he suggests, will
not even be seen as competent competitors because Apple could be just as
successful if it opened a subscription service as it is now. Due to the iPod,
Apple will be the top seller of music downloads no matter what type of service
it offers. - from MacNN
Subscribe To Windows Security? - Forever
following in Apple's footsteps,  Microsoft
has come up with a subscription service to security updates and anti-virus
updates. The service will be provided on a yearly subscription basis and
will offer automatic security updates to Windows users. Microsoft will be
testing The service out on its own employees to get the bugs out (no pun
intended), and plans to officially release it next year. Why
pay for a service that comes free from Apple? BUY A MAC! - from BBC
May
16, 2005
Monkie Business | Bananas
 At
The Top - Another Monday is upon us and guess what? I can barely
think of **anything** to say to begin the day! Yuppers...Every once
in a while the blabber mouth Monkie has his tongue tied with fried
eyes and yawns that could start an epidemic amongst the most controlled
in yer ol' breathing hole. So, rather than begin with a nonsensical
whim, we'll jump right into this week's Monkie Spin!
Monkie Business
Odds and Ends
Don't Budge - The
phrase "To not budge an inch" is from Will
Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew, "Induction," Scene
1. This phrase was first uttered by the drunken tinker
Christopher Sly. Sly's refusal to budge altered what
had been a neutral verb up until then to a negation,
according to word researcher Michael Macrone. As he points
out in his book, Brush Up on Your Shakespeare, "No
one ever says 'I budged' or 'let's budge.'"
Kissin' Rosey -
In Riverside, California, there is an old law on the
city's books which makes it illegal to kiss unless both
people wipe their lips with rose water.
Eastwood's Apple
- In the early 1950's, Clint Eastwood signed a $75-a-week
contract with Universal to do walk-ons in low-budget
horror flicks like Revenge of the Creature. He was fired
when studio executives decided his Adam's apple protruded
too much for him to be star material. For some time,
Eastwood took on odd jobs, such as digging swimming pools,
to augment what little money he could make from small
parts in TV series like Highway Patrol. However, once
he was cast as Rowdy Yates on the TV western Rawhide
in 1958, Eastwood's star began to shoot to the top.
Say What??? -
We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been
quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking
a short holiday to recover.
- Parish Magazine
Breath Deep -
We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean
air do we need?
- Lee Iacocca
Pretend - Be
careful what you pretend to be because you are what you
pretend to be.
- Kurt Vonnegut,
Jr.
Bananas
Just Plain Nutz!
21st Century Marriage
Jill and John got married. John thought this would be
a "marriage of the 21 century" -- equal
roles for equal partners.
So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he
brought Jill breakfast in bed. Jill wasn't impressed
with his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully
at the tray, and snorted, "Poached? I wanted scrambled!"
Undaunted, the next morning, John brought his true love
a scrambled egg. Jill wasn't having any of it. "Do
you think I don't like variety? I wanted poached this
morning!"
Determined to please Jill, the next morning he thought, "third
time's a charm" and brought her two eggs -- one
scrambled and one poached."Here, my love, enjoy!"
Jill
looks at the plate and says, "You scrambled the
wrong egg."
OLD Mama
Yo' mama so old, her dreams are in black and white!
Rhyme Time
Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps,
Bug-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants!
I'm about to tell you a story I've never
heard before,
So pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
Admission is free, so pay at the door.
One fine day, in the middle of the night,
Two, dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back, they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman
heard the noise,
And saved the lives of the two dead boys.
If you don't
believe my lies are true,
Ask the blind man, he saw it too!
Taste It
A customer in a restaurant orders a bowl of soup. However,
the customer notices that something is wrong. So he calls
the waiter over.
"Can you please taste the soup?"
"What's
wrong with the soup?"
"Just taste it."
"Why?"
"Just taste it."
"Sir, I..."
"Just taste it."
"Fine, I'll taste the
soup. Where's the spoon?"
"EXACTLY. BRING
ME A DARNED SPOON!"
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