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02.18.05

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February 18-20, 2005

At The Top - Zoiks, Scoob! Don't ever -- never, never, never -- say things can't get any worse!!! 'Cuz just about the time you do, you'll find yer-self in short supply of Scooby Snacks and your tail caught in a big can of glue. ¿Qué estoy diciendo? Well, when Noah said it was gonna rain, he wasn't kiddin'! This week has been quite the wash of complication followed by complication...ARRRRRRGH! Okay, now I feel better!

Anyway, since life is what happens when you're busy making plans, this week's plans have changed due to time consuming doo doo. Yup...You guessed it. Our normally scheduled Friday Icon Edition will be postponed until next week once things here in the Zoo have gone a little less ape. But there's still some fun along the lines of Community News, SW News On The Net, and Bananas too. So with all of that said, let's get to it!

Pro Icons for Pro Developers - Miloszwl.com

Miloszwl.com - Hold on to your pixel hats, folks! Great news has busted in on the cyber waves as the 2005 version of Miloszwl.com is now up and running! Sporting a most amazing new look, the site now includes the Icon Store where you can purchase finely crafted, professional quality stock icons for all of your developer needs. Whether you use Mac, Windows, or Linux, you're certain to find just the right icon designs in Milo's Toolbar and Application Packs. Now that you're in the "know," hurry over to Miloszwl.com and be ready to design different!

Live Pencil - Hey there! No teasin' allowed...Unless, of course, it's the latest collection of GUI teasers from Live Pencil. Let's have a look at the list of these cool new pixel critters:

• EMOTICONS - Teasing.
• EMOTICONS - And, teasing-2.
• EMOTICONS - Greetings!
• Just for fun SLIDE PUZZLE!!!! - Lightning!!!

See? That wasn't that hard. You didn't even need to pull your sister's hair. Just hop on over to Live Pencil and get your share of the new pixel fun!

On The Net

Transaction 1.0 - Another cool Mac tool comes your way from the folks at MAX Programming! Recently announced is the debut of Transaction 1.0, an easy-to-use, full featured and multi-purpose interactive data analysis and reporting tool intended to help you control your online sales. It can serve several small to medium management needs for either private users, software developers or small businesses making keeping track of online sales a snap. With a few clicks you can start importing your existing transactions and create reports and charts in minutes. One more click to MAX Programming and you can get your hands on Transaction...Get to it!

Bananas

Just Plain Nutz!

At The Sound Of The Tone...

Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

Take It Away, George

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

- George Carlin

Psychiatrist's Best Friend

A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to explain his problem. "Doctor, doctor! I've got this problem," the man said. "I keep hallucinating that I'm a dog. It's crazy. I don't know what to do!"

"A common canine complex," said the doctor soothingly. "Relax. Come here and lie down on the couch."

"Oh no, Doctor," the man said nervously, "I'm not allowed up on the furniture."

EXTRA! EXTRA!

Another guy comes up to him and asks, "Do you have an extra cigarette?"

The first guy looks at the box and reads that it contains 20 cigarettes.

He counts all the cigarettes in his box and says, "Nope, don't got any extra cigarettes."

Clever Lawyer

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."

"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."

The defendant smiled. And, with his lawyer's assistance, he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench and walked out.

February 15-17, 2005

Monkie News | Network News

Monkie News

'Labor Day' Break - As one individual called our latest song release of Expression (Valentina's Song) a "musical labor of love," they truly had more of a grasp of the concept than perhaps realized. The weekend running up to the finalization and release of the song was filled with a true challenge of technical difficulties and deadline "pressures." As a result, this Monkie is plumb tuckered out! Therefore, we'll be taking a short break to catch an extra breath and a couple of extra "Z's." Until we return on Friday, have a great week!

Network News

the WebWorld - BeanHead

PC Makers Press For OSX - Apple CEO, Steve Jobs, has revealed that three major PC companies are ready to put Mac OS X on their computers right now, if Apple would only give them permission. The reason is that they want to offer their consumers a more stable operating system than Windows. This puts Apple in a position of power as compared to eight years ago, when Microsoft invested 150 million in the company so it would keep Office operable for five more years. That investment gave Apple time to build the best operating system ever. - from PCPro

Apple Splits Stock - Apple stock has been soaring this year, and Apple has decided to make the wealth available to more investors by splitting its shares two-to-one. This means that those who are already invested in Apple will get more, and also that those who want to invest in Apple will be able to do so at a lower rate. Overall, the split is a plus for technology shares as it shows that technology shares are up, and also that Apple is having a good effect on the world of technology. - from MacNewsWorld

Wireless World - Gadget upon gadget begets wires upon wires, especially when it comes to computer peripherals. But merchandisers are hoping to change that by declaring the year 2005 the year of the wireless. From wireless home entertainment systems to wireless USB, the focus is going to be on cutting down on all those cords. Not only that, but once the public purchases all its wireless wonders, there will even be wireless alarms in place to protect them from being stolen. - from BBC

February 14, 2005

Monkie News | Community News | Monkie Business | Bananas

At The Top: New Music and More! - Just in time for Valentine's Day, we're pleased to announce the latest musical release from Monkie Master Bradford Wiles with Expression (Valentina's Song)! This "old but new" tune is an original composition by Mr. Wiles packed with a powerful punch of percussion and string orchestration. And with the Day of Hearts at hand, it makes a great way with which to serenade your loved one. Further details can be had simply by skipping down to the Monkie News Department.

And The More - That said, let's get on with the...WAIT! Oh yes, there's MORE! We can't let this day pass without making mention of someone's day of birth this very special Valentine's Day - Ms. Valentina "BeanHead" Spicer!

Yessirree! This old gal just turned a sweet 116 years of age today! Well, maybe not quite **that** old. But as young as she really is, she's sure full of all kinds of wisdom and patience. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Tina!

Monkie News

Expression - Expression (Valentina's Song) is an instrumental by Bradford J. Wiles that was written beginning in 1998 and completed in 1999 during the "dark" days of Winter. Originally submitted and published by Casper College's 'Expression Magazine' in 2001, it was dedicated to Valentina E. Spicer after her sister and brother-in-law moved to Africa to become part of a medical mission program to the African natives.

This is the first public audio release that includes percussion and string orchestration. If you use iTunes for playback, we recommend using Classical, Jazz, or Rock EQ settings.

Since it has been ten years since I met Tina - one of my bestest friends of all time - I felt it most appropriate to release and rededicate this "first mix" in gratitude of her friendship. Here's to you, Bean! - Brad

Community News

Live Pencil - Hoo Doggies! Brand new hearts full of GOO have worked their way into the galleries of Live Pencil! Let's have a peek at what's been added:

• EMOTICONS - Valentine's day.
• EMOTICONS - More Valentine's day.
• For your e-mails. WRITING your emotions - Happy Valentine.
• For your e-mails. WRITING your emotions - Be my Valentine.
• TIC-TAC-TOE - Valentine too !!!!!
• For your e-mails. ALPHABET - Saint Valentine's alphabet.

Now that you've got a textual look at all the latest, we're certain you'll love the visual view once you hurry over to Live Pencil and check out all the latest!

Monkie Business

Odds and Ends

Roll With It Baby! - Soviets are buying skateboards from the U.S. – but not for recreational purposes. They see them as an answer to some of the country's transportation needs, because the boards are less expensive than bicycles and require little storage space. The first boards went to school instructors so they could train pupils how to ride them.

Guarded Freedom - During World War II, the original copies of the U.S. Constitution and the Declaration of Independence were taken from the Library of Congress and kept at Fort Knox, Kentucky.

Thumpa Thumpa! - A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

- Judith Viorst

Love Has Its Bumps - Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.

- Jerome K. Jerome

True Love - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

- I Corinthians 13:4-8

Bananas

Just Plain Nutz!

A Mommy Moment

Four-year-old Mitch loved candy almost as much as his mom Ann did. He and Daddy had given her a beautiful heart-shaped box of chocolates for Valentine's Day. A few days later Mitch was eyeing it, wishing to have a piece of it. As he reached out to touch one of the big pieces, Ann said to him, "If you touch it, then you have to eat it. Do you understand?"

"Oh, yes," he said, nodding his head. Suddenly his little hand patted the tops of all the pieces of candy. "Now I can eat them all."

Guess Who?

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he's doing.

"I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine's Day cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer."

Monster Valentine

Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's?

Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you.

Boy Monster: Is it still beating?

Strawberry Manure

A little boy runs across this farmer who has a truckload of cow manure. The boy asks him what he is going to do with all that cow poop. The farmer tells the little boy, "I'm taking it home to put on my strawberries."

The little boy looks up at the farmer and says, "I don't know where you come from, but where I come from we put cream and sugar on our strawberries."