January
6-8, 2006
 At The Top - Oh where, oh where did the
Icon Show go? Oh where, oh where can it be?
Hmmm, let's see...If all works well over the weekend, you should find a
Front End Icon Edition come Monday. Why the delay? With the ways of work
on an upward swing, head Monkie Wiles is moving up the company ladder and
has a meeting in Montana for much of next week. So before the departure,
there are plenty of things to prep for. That said, perhaps only one update
will appear next week. Until then, we have the latest from burntcanvasdesign in Community News and a couple snickers of Bananas.
And of course, take a look at the latest in Desktops found in the Gallery.
Have fun, play safe, and we'll see you next week!
Support The Community
- Visit This Great Site!
Community News
burntcanvasdesign - At long last! Master desktop
crafter Alan Sherwood  of burntcanvasdesign has
finally got around to getting all of his desktops back online...YAY!!! For
too long he didn't have enough storage. But as Ed
Allen has kindly donated
space, there are now 81 desktops in both widescreen and standard aspect to
download to your hearts content. Alan will add the new set 'undefined' ASAP,
but for now you can enjoy his New Years' treat - actually stuff
to download for free! You know the drill...Hurry over to bcd and
check 'em out!
Bananas
Just Plain Nutz!
Watch Those Words!
A mother carefully explained to her young daughter how children were created.
She used the expression "carrying a child" instead of "pregnant," but
the girl seemed satisfied.
Sometime later, a terrible fire broke out in the
neighborhood, and the girl stood by watching. Here is how she described
the scene to her parents, "There was this big fire, and a fireman ran into
the house, and when he came out, he was pregnant."
Think
You must think with a clean mind: What does a man do standing up, a woman
does sitting down, a dog does with his leg lifted?
Shake hands!
Taxing Situation
A man sitting at a bar claiming to be the world's strongest man, squeezed
every drop of juice from a lemon. Then said, "Whoever can squeeze another
drop from this lemon will be the world's strongest and will have earned $100."
Just
about every man at the bar tried without luck, then a skinny, wimpy looking
guy walks up and squeezes three more drops from the lemon. The strong man
asked, "How did you do that?"
The little man replied, "I am
an IRS agent" as he walked out.
If The Shoe Fits
A Tourist was driving down a country road in Kentucky when he saw a little
boy walking down the road with only one shoe on.
He stopped and said, "What's the matter son? Did you lose a shoe?"
The
boy says, "Nope! Just found one."
January
5, 2006
On The Net | Network
News
On
The Net
AppZapper 1.0 Released - The
folks from AppZapper.com have announced the
release of AppZapper
1.0 for
Mac OS X 10.4 and above. This cool piece of software allows you to confidently
uninstall virtually any application as easily as it was installed - just
drag and drop. It intelligently finds leftover support files and allows
users to put them in the trash with a single click.
AppZapper helps clean up application leftovers, files that 99% of Mac
users don't even know exist. By creating a non-destructive way to remove
unwanted files, AppZapper is the
uninstaller that the Mac OS has been waiting for. Check it out!
Embraceware Releases Awaken 2.3 -
Ready to wake up ala iTunes style? Then you will be pleased to hear of Embraceware's latest release - Awaken
2.3! Awaken is a digital alarm clock that wakes you
up by playing the iTunes playlist of your choice. Alarms can be created to
alert you on a weekly basis at a set time, or at any specific date and time.
New in version 2.3:
- Full screen alarm preference added.
- Full screen sleep timer preference
added.
- 24-hour clock preference added.
- Specific date calendar supports multiple
years.
- And more!
For all the information on this great app,
head over to Embraceware and get
the scoop on Awaken today!
Network
News
the WebWorld -
BeanHead
Another Apple Landmark - Apple made its mark
on the world more in  the year 2005 than ever before. So significant was its
influence that the year became a landmark for the creative company. After
all, there is no beating the worlds best operating system, Tiger. Add to
that the new iPod and the announcement of Apples switch to Intel chips. All
amazing landmarks in themselves, and all in one year. -
from TechWorld
Apple Takes Technology Awards - The Technology
of the Year awards are out, and Apple, of course is again at the top. Tiger,
the newest Apple operating system introduced in 2005, was off the charts
for being the best client operating system as well as the best server operating
system. Bringing in the best workstation award was also an Apple product,
the Power Mac G5 Quad earning the honors. - from InfoWorld
Bike To The Future - Bikes in the future may
fly along faster than highway speed limits. These bikes are not motor-powered
but thanks to technological design they can sail aerodynamically. A sleek
bullet shaped bike strapped with a strong-legged peddler has been known to
reach speeds of more than eighty miles an hour. At these speeds, bicycling
may be in line as the next sport of extreme. - from Wired
January
4, 2006
Desktops | Bananas
 At The Top - Alrighty then, folks! Another
cold bump in the work week road, a couple more broken spokes. So what do
we do to thaw the old icicles, We get to the GOO and get off the tricycles!
And since there's no need for training wheels to speed toward the fun,
your Wednesday Desktop Edition will put your blues on the run. If you got
all of that, then you're one up on me. Just open your eyes and the GOO
you will see. - Good grief, the Monkie has really
lost it!
New GOO
New Desktops -
Since the Monkie Man has already fallen off a limb, we'll just let this GUI
Edition with 3 New Desktops begin!
3-D Rendered - Anyone out there "calling
all angels?" Then you'll be happy to see your digital prayer is answered
with the most amazing rendering found in The Flight
of the Angel! This
spectacular desktop sensation from the pixel crafter of elpincho
Designs will leave your eye candy eyes in a heavenly state!
Nature - Adding a touch of nature's grace
to your GUI viewing space
is the master of capturing all things beautiful on this earthly estate
- Adam Dickson from Pictures
and adicons. This week
we get the sweet smelling view found in Ladybird
On A Flower, a combination of life's budding beauty and Earth's
small creations!
Desktops - If ever their
was someone who could make  something out of nothing, it would most certainly
be the Duke of Desktops himself - burntcanvasdesign's Alan Sherwood!
Coming from his pixel palette producing a whirl of swirl in creativity, Nothing is
really something to look at once placed in your desktop view!
Thanks Department --
elpincho, Adam, and Alan...
Simply Amazing Work!!!
THANK YOU!
Have a piece you want to display?
Check out our Submissions guidelines
and then send it in! Bananas
Just Plain Nutz!
Calling All Idiots
After a hard day of drilling, the drill sergeant let the
troops go. "All right, you idiots, report to the mess hall."
Everybody
walked away, sweating and their heads down, thankful for the end of the
hard day. Only one private remained. He looked at the officer and sincerely
said, "Boy,
there sure were a lot of them, huh, serge."
No Choice
A giraffe walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Do you want a
long neck?"
The giraffe replied, "Do I have a choice?"
Lesson To Learn
A student comes to a young professor's office after hours. She glances down
the hall, closes his door, and starts pleading, "I would do anything
to pass this exam," she says.
She leans closer to him, flips back
her hair, and gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean," she
whispers, "I
would do anything."
"He returns her gaze, "Anything?"
"Anything."
His
voice softens, "Anything?"
"Anything," she repeats
again.
His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"
Please Pass The Peace
After a bitter marketing war, in which prices were continually being undercut,
Birdseye and the Green Giant got together to settle their differences at
a Peas Conference.
January
3, 2006
Very Ape | Monkie
News | Network
News
Very
Ape
Mac OS Tones -
Do you tend to go Ape at the thought of making your mobile phone sound like
a Mac? Then we have great news for you as we've been informed of the all
new site - Macostones.com! Paul Stringer and
friends created this great locale with the thought that their collection
of old and current Mac OS and Apple sounds (including everything from alerts,
Newton, eWorld, and more) would actually make really cool ringtones for cell
phones. A mere $9.95 gets you access to them all. If you have bluetooth,
then you can just do it that way for free. If you're looking to make your
phone ring with real Mac class, click your way to Mac
OS Tones and make your mobile experience Very Ape!
Monkie
News
Tomorrow: New Desktops -
As we climb on the saddle and get back into the grind, you can always fine
a few fine moments in time to break away from your weekly routine for a
big GUI smile found in your Wednesday Desktop Edition! Yuppers...A new round
of GUI goodies are being prepped up for your eye candy enjoyment. So don't
let your appetite down. Swing back around in all but a day and let your senses
play!
Network
News
the WebWorld -
BeanHead
Intel Makes Apple Motherboard - Intel has
begun developing a  motherboard for the next Power Mac so the machine will
literally have Intel inside, as the logo goes, in more ways than one. Apple
has always built its own motherboards until this point in time, but could
come out with Intel powered products as early as next month. With Intel building
parts for the next Power Macs, the product could be priced a bit lower. -
from ZDNet
Royal Recognition For iPod - iPod inventor
Jonathon Ive turns Official Commander as the Queen of England gives him special
honors. An award of chivalry, it is given to citizens who promote British
interests all over the globe. The fact that London-born Ive was honored with
this award goes to show just what a big impact iPod has made all over the
world. Whether the queen herself owns one, however, is not known. -
from Forbes
Curious Cat Call - Police in Columbus, Ohio
were curiously confused  when responding to a typical 911 call recently. When
the officers arrived at the scene what they found was anything but typical.
The home owner had fallen out of his wheelchair next to his bed while his
cat was sitting next to the phone. The only explanation seems to be that
somehow the cat stepped on the phone in such a way that 911 was dialed. -
from Yahoo
January
2,
2005
Community
News | Monkie News | Monkie
Business | Bananas
 At
The Top -
One year down, another begins...My how time flies with so much left undone.
But in the eyes of the old and the hearts of the young, we can start the
New Year with a barrel full of fun. So to kick off our journey around the
sun, we hear from Live Pencil with the latest in Community
News, the long
awaited opening of our Monkie Forums is announced in Monkie
News, a little
bit of this and a little bit of that can be found down in Monkie
Business,
and of course - a platter full of Bananas is available to tickle your funny
bone's fancy. If all of that doesn't tie you up in sutures, then you can
hop on your DeLorean and get back to the future!
Community News
Live Pencil - If you didn't get enough of
the New Year festivities, then you can always create a party of your own
with the recent GUI goodies released from Live
Pencil! Here's a look at the latest:
- New EMOTICONS - Winter.
- New EMOTICONS - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
- New EMOTICONS - More New
Year emoticons.
Now that you've looked at the list of New Year's goodies, the only resolution
you need to know is the size and shape of these cool new gems from Live
Pencil...Check 'em out!
Monkie News
 Let The Forums Begin! - No, I didn't make
any New Year's resolutions. But after a year-and-a-half to two years since
its inception, we have **finally** opened the doors to the Monkie
Forums!
Previously intended to open in mid December, a couple of wrong clicks and
turns overwrote some valuable files. But with the help of our host's hard
working techs, everything was restored without much of a hitch.
With the forum in up and running, you now have a place to add your input
on subjects such as Desktops, Icons, Boot Panels, Mac Hacks, and more. Please
keep in mind that this Monkie is not to savvy on the whole forum affair,
so your input in this department is much welcome. All that said, check out
the "new" Monkie Forums...Your place to swing!
Monkie
Business
Odds and Ends
Seeing Eye Dark - It takes the human eyes
an hour to adapt completely to seeing in the dark. Once adapted, however,
the eyes are about 100,000 times more sensitive to light than they are in
bright sunlight.
Wonder Of Wyoming - Devils Tower in Wyoming,
the world-famous, nearly vertical monolith rises 1,267 feet above the Belle
Fourche River. Known by several northern plains tribes as Bears Lodge, it
is a sacred site of worship for many American Indians. Scientists are still
undecided as to what exactly caused the natural wonder, although they agree
that it is the remnant of an ancient volcanic feature.
Death By The Dentist - The electric chair
was invented by a dentist!
The Bald Facts - In Louisiana, a bill
was introduced years ago in the State House of Representatives that fixed
a ceiling on haircuts for bald men of 25 cents.
Funny In The First Place? - When people say, "I'm
so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not
even funny," why would it even be funny in the first place?
- Unknown
On And Out Of Time -
I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time.
- Marilyn Monroe
Parting Shot - Wise men talk because they
have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something.
- Plato
Bananas
Just Plain Nutz!
Don't Read The Book
Erica is walking out of a movie theatre at the same time as a man with
a parrot on his shoulder. Erica turns to the man and says, "Your parrot
actually seemed to understand the movie. It looked around during the
boring parts, it paid close attention to the dramatic parts, it even "squawked" during
the funny parts. I don't understand how that can be."
The man turns to Erica
and says "I don't understand it either. He didn't like the book
at all."
Please Define
Q: What is a programmer?
A: Someone who solves a problem you didn't
know you had in a way you do not understand.
Bad Conductor
The world's worst conductor was directing up his band during a practice
for an upcoming concert. Half way through the first act he was directing
with wild abandon when, out of his hand, his baton flew and impaled itself
in the eye of a flute player instantly killing her. The police arrive shortly
after and ruled the case as an accident.
The following week at practice,
he again was caught up in the music of the second act and out of his hand
flew the baton, which this time struck a flute player in the eye instantly
killing her. The police arrived and after consideration ruled the case
an accident.
The following week at practice the conductor again got lost
in the moment of the music of the third act and out of his hand flew the
baton this time hitting a trumpet player in the eye and killing him instantly.
After the police arrived they could not believe that this was an accident
after the third death, and the conductor was arrested.
The conductor
was tried and sentenced to death in the electric chair. After strapping
him in the chair operator threw the switch, nothing happened. Again he threw
the switch and nothing happened. The warden was frustrated by this time
and demanded that the chair operator explain what the problem was, to which
the chair operator explained, "Well, everyone knows he's a bad conductor."
Learning By Numbers
A teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his 1 to 10 well.
"Yes! Of course! My pop taught me...even more than 10."
"Good.
What comes after three?"
"Four," answers the boy.
"What comes after six?"
"Seven."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad
did a good job. Now, what comes after ten?"
"A
jack."
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