November
13-14, 2004
 At
The Top: Monkie Notes - Sheesh!
I tell ya...I was gonna take this day off. But
somebody decided to pull rank on the Monkie
Editor and add a certain little surprise to yesterday's
edition. Darned
little web gremlins anyway! Perhaps this Monkie needs
to sleep with one eye open. But regardless of my sleepless
state, I would like to thank all of you from the bottom
of me Monkie heart and toes who sent
your wonderful wishes.
Anyway,
I figured I had to put somethin' up to get the event
out of view from the front and center. If you don't
have a clue as to what I am speaking of, I'll let you
figure it out. As for the bean bird who spilled the beans,
they too will have their day! -
Brad
Need
A GUI Facelift? Shift Your Shape With ShapeShifter!
Bananas
Weekend Edition
Computer Cracks
What is a computer's first sign of old age? Loss of
memory.
What does a baby computer call his father? Data.
What
is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer keyboard?
The space bar.
What happened when the computer fell
on the floor? It slipped a disk.
Why was there a bug
in the computer? It was looking for a byte to eat.
What
is a computer virus? A terminal illness.
To err is human;
but to really mess things up requires a computer.
Computers
are not intelligent. They only think they are.
Computers
make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
My computer
isn't that nervous. It's just a bit ANSI.
November
12, 2004
Icons |
Community News | Monkie
News | Bananas
Happy Birthday,
Brad!
We at MacMonkies would like
to wish our Editor a Great Big Happy Birthday!
View his semi-creative yet
uncannily corny birthday poem here.
 At
The Top - Look out gray skies, 'cuz here we come.
We're about to put your worn out pixels on the run! It's
once again time to pull out this week's Friday
Icon Edition, filled with all kinds of fun found
in ye Monkie Tradition. Perhaps that's a bit over the
top, but for cryin' out loud...I don't know when to stop!!
Okay, okay. 'Tis time to tone it down. So while I am
duct taping my mouth, you can let your eyes go to town!
Let's get started, shall we?!
New
GOO!
New Icons -
Are you ready? Howz about we wrap up the week with a fine
line of digital design and pull out 3
New Icon Sets for
your Friday Icon Edition! That sounds like a resounding
"YES" coming from the crowds. Let the show begin!
 i...mac@dam -
Ooo, la la! Lookin' at the latest icon collection from
Isabelle Laffy, your eyes will get a provocative point
of view with the elegance of Live
In Paris! This fantabulous set from the stylistic
selections of i...mac@dam is
packed with class and contour found only in the great
City of Light, Paris. Light 'em up...Oui oui!
 Steven
Smith - Another draw at the pixel puck
of luck comes your way
from the west with Western
Conference by
icon extraordinaire Steven Smith!
Scoring a second winning goal in his hockey series,
Steve sends this set of 45 'team players' that sport
a vast variety of teams with a Wild Avalanche of Mighty
Ducks and eye candy Canucks!
 elpincho
Designs - Never settling for anything along
the lines of ordinary, elpincho
Designs picks up where
the the Apple makers left off and adds even more
pixel punch! The result? Color included, an all new
rendering for your DVD
Player. Now you too can take your digital
experience to an all new plane. Just press to play...Enjoy!
Thanks Department
--
Isabelle, Steve, and elpincho...
Your abilities add world
wide class to this humble little hut.
Keep pumpin' out those
pixels!
THANK YOU!
Wanna share your work with the world?
Send Us Your Icons!
Community News
Live Pencil - If you're
like most, you can never get enough of that good GUI
stuff! And in honor of your appetite, Live
Pencil updates
with pixel delights. Let's have a look inside:
- 9 new EMOTICONS - Give me five!!!
- 12 new EMOTICONS
- Jumping smiles.
- Just for fun SLIDE PUZZLE!!!!
- Funny Mona Lisa puzzle.
- For your e-mails: WRITING your emotions.
Hand writing How Are You?
So if you're really after the ultimate GUI grin, head
to Live Pencil for a sure shootin' win!
Monkie News
New Monkie Bits In View -
Well...Imagine that. The ol' Monkie coot got off his
keister and got some more site work done! Yuppers. If
you hadn't noticed on Wednesday, a page each in the departments
of Nature, Desktops,
and Logos have now been updated
with the new site appearance. As of this post, Icons
Page 62 has received a 99% facelift.
 Also
along with the aesthetics operation is a new page to
cut down on clutter. Rather than having the iconists'
names listed in the side columns of each icon page, they
can all be found in one convenient place: Icon
Contributors.
If you are an icon contributor and don't see your name
list, please drop us a line and
we'll get it corrected.
Finally, there are still many tweaks to be made,
even to the above listed sections. With all that said,
I'll let the tongue rest for now and maybe for the entire
weekend. So if you don't see any updates on Saturday
and Sunday, we'll see you again Monday at the latest!
Bananas
Just Plain Nutz!
No Beast of Burden
A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of
the loan officer. "Hi," he croaks. "What's your name?"
The loan officer says, "My name is John Paddywack.
May I help you?"
"Yeah," says the frog. "I'd like to borrow some money."
The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out
a form. ''Okay,what's your name?"
The frog replies, "Kermit Jagger."
"Really?" says the loan officer. ''Any relation to
Mick Jagger?''
"Yeah, he's my dad."
"Hmmm," says the loan officer. "Do you have any collateral?"
The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks,
"Will this do?"
The loan officer says, "Um, I'm not sure. Let me go
check with the bank manager."
"Oh, tell him I said hi," adds the frog. "He
knows me."
The loan officer goes back to the manager and says,
"Excuse me, sir, but there's a frog out there named
Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he
has for collateral is this pink elephant thing; I'm not
even sure what it is."
The manager says: "It's a knick-knack, Paddywack,
give the frog a loan; his old man's a Rolling Stone."
Double Ditz
Two ditzy people were building
a barn. While putting up the inside wall, one noticed
that the other was tossing every other nail into the
garbage can.
The first asked, "Why are you throwing
those nails away?"
The second replied, "The pointed end is on the
wrong end of the nail."
The first responded, "Well, don't throw those
away, we can use those on the outside wall!"
Congressman's Money
A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give
me your money."
The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You
cannot do this, I am a congressman!"
The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!"
Why ENGLISH
is so Hard to Learn Part
III
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer
line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his
sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the
sail.
18. After a number of injections my jaw got
number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I
shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a
series of tests.
21. How can I intimate this to my
most intimate friend?
November
11, 2004
Veteran's
Day 2004 | Monkie
News | Network
News
Veteran's
Day 2004
 .
.
To all of you who have gone on before
to protect the freedoms of this country and the world,
we owe a great deal of gratitude and give you a hardy salute!
 Monkie News
Tomorrow: New
Icons - Yup! You guessed it...Tomorrow
brings out another taste of pixelated GUI treats as
we're whippin' up a batch of fun for your Friday Icon
Edition! There will be plenty of prized pixels plus a
typical take on wistful Monkie winks from around the
web. See you then!
Network
News
the WebWorld -
BeanHead
iMac Anything
But Ordinary - The Apple iMac G5 stands alone,
or it appears to  do so. Its design is out of this world,
as it seems to float in space. Everything about the
iMac sets it apart from the rest of the computer world,
from its looks to its easy set-up and heavy duty software.
One of the most amazing attributes is that even though
iMac is anything but ordinary, it is still easily accessible
to ordinary folk. The back, for example, can be taken
off by loosening two simple screws. This monument of
modernism is simply magnificent. -
from The
Boston Globe
Face The Future - Perhaps
computers would be more personable if the screens sported
a face looking back at the user. Enter Jeremiah Face
Projection, a digital dude who watches users' every move
from the monitor. The program actually projects a face
which reacts to the user based on a preset surveillance
system. Jeremiah can flash a smile and also give crusties.
He can also look sad and surprised. He cannot converse
with the user yet, however. Installing the face of Jeremiah
is believed to improve user interaction with the computer. -
from BBC
Stomaching A Cell Phone -
Common practice when losing a cell phone is to call  the
number and listen for the ring. That is just what a man
in Turkey did right after he reasoned that someone had
stolen his cell phone. Much to his surprise, once he
dialed the number he heard a ringing sound coming from
his dog. Come to find out the dog had swallowed the phone
which was ringing from its stomach. Naturally, the dogs
digestive system 'delivered' the phone back to its owner
the very next day, confirming the curious phone call. -
from Ananova
November
10, 2004
Desktops |
Community News | Bananas
At The Top - All
blurry eyed and bushy tailed? Then it's time to stump
the hump of the mid-week thump and make like mad for
this week's Wednesday
Desktop Stump! Whether you're tired and sick,
or just plain sick and tired, we have fine line of
GOO and some Monkie Spin to get you wired. So lift
your eyes and enlighten your mind...It's time
escape from the work week's grind!
New GOO!
New Desktops -
Fe, fi, fo, fum...With your fingers, follicles, toes
and thumbs, it's time to enter the Monkidom! For your
Wednesday Desktop Edition, the digits on your hand
have numbered 5 New Desktops for
your GUI eyes to wake, not slumber. So let's dig deep
into this batch of GOO that's been prepped and dished
up just for you!
Nature -
Oh my, yes! Looks as though everything's coming up
daisies  in
the Nature Department as we take a peek at the ever
amazing pixel talents of Joy Tallant from grnluvbug!
Joy's GUI sweetness shines through as your eyes get
a view of nature's natural canvas with Painted
Daisy 5. You will soon be smelling the
aroma of Ms. Tallant's photographic pixel passion!
Logos -
Entering in as the latest in the line of fine community
 collaborators is William
Cross with
his first venture in the Gallery titled Blue
Metal Apple. Bill makes the most of his keen GUI
sense by combining the sleek symbol of Apple's logo
with a familiar looking smooth and silky scenario.
The results? An excellent exhibit of unobtrusive GUI
splendor for your eyes' delight!
Desktops -
Making the connection between concept and two of his
 previously released
creations of GUI coolness, Bob
Wiley turns up the heat and takes a twirl with Firespin.
Completely made from scratch, Bob simply combined the ideas behind the pixel
process of "Fire" and "Hot Threads." Take
this hot new selection for a spin and enjoy the ride!
If
you're not up for the heat of the hotness kind of wind,
you can cool  off
with a simple swim into the pool of cool found in Desktop
Swirl. Created by Neil
Roberts, the Blue Man of GOO, this eye appealing
'wallpaper' wonder will make a big splash amongst
your favorite desktop backdrops. Make some waves
and go with the flow of this spectacular show!
Hello,
hello (hola)! We're at a place called Vertigo!
With everything  you
didn't need to know,
MacMonkies' Bradford Wiles
places this not-so-necessarily-significant pixel piece
right before your eyes. Simply jammin' out to U2's
latest single of the same name, along with the visual
force of Andy O'Meara's G-Force,
the monk took a desktop snap and mildly modified the
results for a Photoshop finish. Enjoy!
Thanks Department
--
Joy, Bill, Bob,
and Neil...
As far as the mind can
imagine,
so is the excellence of
your abilities!
THANK YOU!
Have a piece you want to display?
Check out our Submissions guidelines
and then send it in!
Community News
The Iconfactory - The
creative pixel people from The
Iconfactory are at it
once  again with an all new icon release! Factory worker
Dave Brasgalla is
largely associated with his photorealistic Aqua icons.
But now he strikes the chord of a different direction
with Vectra,
an experiment to create a simplified icon style that
touches on Aqua sensibilities while mixing in a bit
of vectorized "cuteness."
If you need a break from realism and want to add a dash
of playfulness to your desktop, hurry over to the Showroom at
The Iconfactory for
this fabulous new set!
widget : widget - Master
widget waxer and pixel crafter Alexander MacLean  has
sent news of wondrous new works at widget
: widget! Just posted is an infectious new fiction
bent icon set titled Sky Captain:
And The World Of Tomorrow. The collection is based
on the sci-fi film of the same name, an all-in-one compact
homage to the truly fantastic genre of science fiction.
And if you're familiar with Alexander's amazing abilities,
you can be certain this new set from widget
: widget is bound for the stars. Check 'em out!
Bananas
Just Plain Nutz!
Why ENGLISH
is so Hard to Learn Part
II
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did
not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid
for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen
about how to row.
13. They were too close to the door
to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when the
does are present.
Holy Water
How do you make Holy Water?
You boil the hell out of it!
Who's That Knockin'?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Amish.
Amish who?
Funny...you don't look like a shoe.
Backwoods High Tech Part
III
Mouse Pad - Where Mickey and Minnie live.
Network - Scooping
up a big fish before it breaks the line.
ROM - Where
the pope lives.
Screen - Keeps mosquitoes off the porch.
Serial Port
- A red wine you drink with breakfast.
Superconductor
- Amtrak's Employee of the year.
SCSI (pronounced scuzzi)
- What you call your week-old underwear.
November
9, 2004
Monkie
News | On The Net | Network
News
Monkie
News
Tomorrow:
New Desktops -
Sheesh! The foothills of this week's Hump Day seem  higher
than the pie in the sky that turned out to be miles
too high for the eye to eye. **Gasp**...So whilst
we're taking a breath here, just thought we'd tell
ya that good news is near. Tomorrow will put you
at the top of the work week heap as we will enter
into the many splendors of your Wednesday Desktop
Edition...(taking another breath)...So if your
week is weak and weary, come back Wednesday for
desktop fury!
On The Net
GSFTP 1.0 - Just in from
Gideon Softworks is
news of the release of their latest  Mac app: GSFTP
1.0. An FTP/SFTP client for Mac OS X,
GSFTP allows users to efficiently and reliably fetch
and transmit files to any kind of Internet server using
FTP or SFTP. Its goal is to be simple
and to the point, and that's just what you will find
once you get your hands on GSFTP.
So get on over to
Gideon Softworks and
grab yourself a copy!
Network
News
the WebWorld -
BeanHead
Incredible Incredibles -
Another blockbuster has busted out of Pixar studios,
owned  by Apple CEO, Steve Jobs. The Incredibles, a film
focused on Superheros, follows Finding Nemo and has hit
another home run. Pulling out all the punches, Pixar
exceeds expectations visually when it comes to the use
of color, frames, and style. A strong story line, humor,
and a feel for the characters also demonstrates no less
than a lot of know-how. Pixar's next monument movie is
Cars, which is previewed before The Incredibles and is
due out in November of 2005. -
from Wired
Christmas Apples -
Apple iPods are expected to sweep Christmas right off
its feet this  year. Word is that Santa will be delivering
more than two million iPods, and with the choices between
iPod, iPod Mini, iPod Photo, and the U2 iPod, there is
easily an iPod for everyone on the list. Though iPod
will be the gift of the season, Santa will be shimmying
many other Apple products down the chimney too. This
offends the elves who build cell phones, because they
are usually the busiest elves of all. The Apple elves,
however, will be the busy bees this year. -
from MacNewsWorld
Blast From The Beatles Past -
A performance by the Fab Four is to be featured during
 the airing of the American Music Awards this year. According
to Dick Clark, a forty-year-old tape of the group performing
'She Loves You' and 'I Wanna Hold Your Hand' on an English
show has been found. No one has seen the 2 1/2 minute
tape since it was made in 1964, and the viewing at the
American Music Awards will be the first in forty years.
Once again, even among all the latest greatest artists,
the Beatles step into the spotlight and steal the show. -
from Excite
November
8, 2004
Monkie
News | Monkie
Business | Bananas
At The Top - G' Day, pri-mates!
If you didn't catch the news on Friday, Apple let loose
the latest release of Mac OS X with version 10.3.6. As
reported by MacMinute, the key enhancements include:
- Improved file sharing for Mac (AFP),
UNIX (NFS) and PC (SMB/CIFS) networks
- More reliable
network automounts and launch of network applications
- Improved
OpenGL technology and updated ATI and NVIDIA graphic
drivers
- Additional FireWire audio and USB device compatibility
- Updated
Calculator, DVD Player, Image Capture, and Safari
applications
- Improved compatibility for third party
applications
- Previous standalone security updates
You can get the update by downloading via your Software
Updates pane in the System Preferences, or by jumping
over to Apple's Update page.
Now that ya got the skinny on Apple's latest, let's
take a bite out of the week's Monday grind and get to
some monkeying around!
Monkie
News
Site Changes -
I know, I know...I'm so so slow!! There are still tons
of pages to convert to the new site appearance, but I'm
gettin' old, ya know. Well, perhaps that's just lazy,
but it often comes with the territory! Anyway...A couple
minor changes **have** been made, but nothing noticeable
to the naked eye. The style sheet (CSS) has been minorly
modified and tweaked a tad for a bit better optimization.
That's about it.
On another foot, I do have a question or two for you
to shoe: Do you think the dark red lettering in the header — the
directory and the shortcut bar — are a bit much?
If so, do you have a recommendation for a color change?
Any feedback you would like to send would be mucho appreciated.
Just head over to the Comments page
and drop us a line. THANKS!
Monkie Business
Brother, Van You Spare A Dime? -
If you had a dime for every dollar that Bill Gates is
worth, you would have over $4.7 BILLION dollars. Bill
Gates would still have a worth of $36.6 billion.
Let It Grow! -
A species of starfish known as the Linckia columbiae
can reproduce its entire body — that is, grow back
completely — from a single severed piece less
than a half-inch long.
Cool Head - Aristotle
believed the main purpose of the human brain was to cool
the blood.
With Or Without You -
The man who thinks he can live without others is mistaken;
the one who thinks others can't live without him is even
more deluded.
- Hasidic Saying
Chaotic Logic - Logic:
The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance
with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
- Ambrose Bierce
Bananas
Just Plain Nutz!
The Knock
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Hatch.
Hatch who?
Funny, you don't look like a shoe.
Backwoods High Tech Part
II
Fax - What you lie about to the IRS.
Hacker - Uncle Leroy
after 32 years of smoking.
Hardcopy - Picture looked
at when selecting tattoos.
Internet - Where cafeteria
workers put their hair.
Keyboard
- Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.
Mac -
Big Bubba's favorite fast food.
Megahertz - How your
head feels after 17 beers.
Modem - What you do when
the grass gets too high.
Why ENGLISH is so Hard to Learn Part
I
1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm
was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full
that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish
the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get
the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert
in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present,
he thought it was time to present the present.
BIG Butt
My butt's so big, when I was born the doctor said to
my mama, " Congratulations! TWINS!"
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