September 19, 2004

More Monkie Business

Use Your Manners! - Prior to the police squad room sitcom Barney Miller beginning production, star Hal Linden wanted to get a better feel for his role by spending a week with plainclothes cops in New York City. According to John Javna's best-selling book "Cult TV," Linden accompanied the squad on a drug bust. He was standing in a doorway when one of the dealers tried to sneak out. Linden stopped him — not with a gun, but as his character Barney Miller likely would. Reportedly, he told the druggie, "You can't leave — you forgot to say 'May I.'" Surprisingly, his congenial approach worked — the man stayed.

Need A GUI Facelift?Shift Your Shape With ShapeShifter!

Modestly Speaking - With people of only moderate ability modesty is mere honesty; but with those who possess great talent it is hypocrisy.

- Arthur Schopenhauer

Three Dog Night - The expression "three dog night" originated with the Eskimos and means a very cold night – so cold that you have to bed down with three dogs to keep warm.

September 18, 2004

Monkie Business | Icons | Desktops

Monkie Business

Odds and Ends

Wish Of The Week

Three guys: a Canadian, Osama bin Laden, and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it.

"I will give each of you each one wish. That's three wishes total," says the genie.

The Canadian says, "I'm a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."

With a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews, or Americans can come into our precious state."

Again, with a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.

"Uncle Sam" (A former civil engineer), asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick, and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out - it's virtually impenetrable."

Uncle Sam says, "Fill it with water."

September 17, 2004

Icons | Community News | Monkie News | Banana

At The Top - Good GUI, Miss...Umm, Mooi?? I guess since Miss Molly went to the movies, that leaves a bunch of GUI Monkies in charge of the swing for your Friday Icon Edition! And there's nothin' like a great group of GOO along with Monkie spun News and Humor to fire up your Friday and wind up your weekend.

Before we get to the headline fun, we just want to make a quick plug for new site preview you'll find in the Monkie News. So...Since the plug has been placed, let's moove on with the groove and get to the GOO!

New GOO!

New Icons - Need a little facial pick-me-up in the interface department? We've got just the right ingredients to smooth your desktop lines as there's 3 New Icon Sets in the jar of GOO for your Friday Icon Edition! Feel free to relax, but peel the cucumbers off your eyes or you will miss all of the fun. Ready, steady, GO!

 

Alphan Gunaydin - In from Alphan Gunaydin is yet another classy communicative collection of 21st century cells with Sony Ericsson Icons. There's quite the virtual functionality with these modern mobiles, as they seem to have the ability to accomplish everything but clean the kitchen sink. But maybe that's what the **real** purpose of the phone is: To call someone you love so that they CAN!

Adding the final kick towards the ultimate goal of icon excellence is a second "single shot" from Alphan with the emblem of the Turkish soccer team: Fenerbahce. Among Alphan's many interests are his obvious talents in digital design, as well as playing chess, soccer and scuba diving. The question that immediately comes to mind is "How does he manage to do it all?!" Regardless of the answer, it's mighty fine work! Enjoy!

Thanks Department --

Alphan, and Bandar...

Not only do your abilities make the winning goal,

But the entire Community gets a Gold ribbon!

THANK YOU!!

Wanna share your work with the world?

Send Us Your Icons!

Community News

Live Pencil - Always one of the bestest places to liven up your GUI X-perience, Live Pencil has just made all things eye candy better with a brand new update. Let's take a peek at the list of new pix now in store:

• More SMILEY EMOTICONS - Will you marry me? And MANY MORE!!!
• More SMILEY EMOTICONS - LOVE and kisses!!!
• More SMILEY EMOTICONS. - Can't stop laughing!!!
• Desktop ICONS - Crazy eyes!
• Last week's HIDDEN IMAGE. - You can view them all and use them on your e-mails too.

With all of the new fun on the menu, it's time you made a trip to Live Pencil and dig into the latest feast!

Monkie News

New Site Preview - Okie dokie, folkies! As promised, a little preview of our Monkie Facelift is now available. So far, most everything is complete in the "looks" department. At present time, the style sheet is being overhauled and other minor tweaks to the overall appearance are being made. One area that has not yet been tackled is just below Calvin in the top left column.

With all of that said, we are interested in your feedback. Though we are thus far pleased with the overall look, your input is valuable to us. So, if you are interested in sharing your thoughts and suggestions, here are a few things to consider:

• Do you like the overall appearance?
• Do you like the color scheme (such as font colors, etc.)?
• Are there items you would rearrange (such as the Header Directory)?
• Are there things you would add or delete?

Those are just a few questions, but they are ones we are very interested in. We are also aware that this is just a pic, so you can't yet get the full feel of its functionality. But that will soon follow.

With all of that said, if you would like a sneak peek and offer your input as well, hop over to our preview page, grab a glance at what's new, and send us your feedback!

Bananas

Just Plain Nutz!

SANDWICH BAR

A man walks into a bar with a sandwich on his shoulder.

The bartender turns, looks at him and says, ''Sorry sir, we don't serve food here!!''

VALENTINE'S DAY CARD SHOPPING

A woman went to the mall to buy Valentine's Day cards for her son and father.

The 50 feet of displays for hundreds of cards astounded her.

She muttered out loud, "I wonder if they have anything for ex-husbands."

The clerk behind the counter said, "Oh, yes ma'am, they do, but they're in Sporting Goods."

"Really?" exclaimed the woman.

"Yes ma'am. They're called darts."

SLOW TRAIN

A Texan is bragging to a New Englander. “In Texas,” he drawls, “you can get on a train, ride all day long, and still be in Texas by nightfall.”

“So what?” replies the Yankee, “We have slow trains in Rhode Island, too.”

MORE THAN THEY ASKED FOR

Two men were out fishing, when they found a lamp floating in the water. One of the men picked it up and rubbed it, causing a genie to explode from the lamp. Unfortunately, it was a very low-level genie and could only grant one wish. The men thought for a few minutes and then wished for the entire lake to be made of the best beer in the world.

With a poof, the wish was granted. All of a sudden, one of the men got really angry.

"Darn it! Now we have to pee in the boat!"

September 16, 2004

Monkie News | On The Net | Network News

Monkie News

Tomorrow: New Icons and More - What could be better than the end of the Mon-Fri work week? A slice of GUI pie with icon pixels sprinkled on top...Oh yeah! And even though everyone doesn't have the "luxury" of having weekends off, this week's Friday Icon Edition is bound to put a big ol' Monkie style smile square on your GUI face.

Also in store for tomorrow is the promised preview of our new site look. This is your opportunity to weigh in with your thoughts and suggestions on what's soon to be released.

Now that we've touched on future things to come, let's check out some SW Updates and then over to the Bean and hit the News!

On The Net

Default Folder X 1.9.5 - There's no sense in navigating through countless folders trying to figure out where you left off saving your favorite files! All you have to do is get Default Folder X 1.9.5, the latest release from St. Clair Software. They just announced the immediate availability of this new update to their Eddy Award-winning utility for enhancing Open and Save dialogs in Mac OS X.

Version 1.9.5 of Default Folder X offers new keyboard shortcuts in Open and Save dialogs for jumping to folders that are open in the Finder, more complete tracking of recently used folders, and the ability to integrate its list of recently used folders into other applications such as the Mac OS X Dock and DragThing. It also increases the speed of Open and Save dialogs in Carbon applications and corrects compatibility issues with Photoshop, Illustrator, and SpellCatcher X.

And of course, the update is free for registered users. So what are you waiting for? Hop, skip, or click to St. Clair Software and get your updated copy of Default Folder X!

A Better Finder Rename 6.5.5 - Always on the endeavor to make everything better, PUBLICSPACE.NET has announced the release of A Better Finder Rename 6.5.5, their Mac Finder enhancement that allows users to quickly rename multiple files. This new release thus focuses on EXIF performance improvements:

2. They have also created a first level cache for date and EXIF metadata.

The update has resulted in dramatically faster preview and rename performance for all EXIF or date-based actions. The upgrade is free to registered users. New buyers can grab it at the great price of only $19.95. Make your move to make the best even better with A Better Finder Rename from the folks at PUBLICSPACE.NET!

Network News

the WebWorld - BeanHead

Army Salutes Apple Supercomputer - The U.S. Military's MACH5 is making many magnificent marks with the privileged personnel. Composed of Apple computers, the supercluster allows the Army to go places they have never gone before. Tasks that once left them twiddling their thumbs now take only millionths of micro minutes. Given such power and smooth operation, MACH5 has put the Army at ease, even when tackling tough tasks. - from Apple

Antique iPod Shop - An antique shop in Tokyo is combining the newest craze in music with some of the oldest equipment. The owner likes to plug the iPod in and play its tunes through old radios and speakers. He feels the old sound gives warmth to the music. Having first tried this in his classic car, he carried over the idea and is hoping his use of the iPod will help persuade young listeners to purchase antique radios in his shop. - from Wired

Reality Show Turns Real - Reality has hit for contestants on the reality show The Apprentice. As part of their fifteen-week job interview for billionaire Donald Trump, the two teams were instructed to design a new toy. Famous toy company Mattel provided advisors to assist both teams, and has since agreed to market the winning toy. It is a remote control car that can be transformed and it will be marketed as a Morph Machine. - from CNN

September 15, 2004

Desktops | Community News | On The Net | Bananas

At The Top - Everybody ready to join the party? That's right...It's time to pull out the pixel hats as we fire up this week's Wednesday Desktop Edition! There's a bit of a digital journey to be had in the GUI Department, along with cyber miles of smiles in the areas of Community News, SW News On The Net, and intergalactic Bananas for a crazy Monkie smile. So come on and buckle up and we'll blast straight into the fun. Shall we?!

New GOO!

New Desktops - Come one, come all (even you, Toto)! It's time to walk in digital wonderland as we are about to depart on this week's Wednesday Desktop Edition! And there's no need to pack your bags as we have 5 New Desktops on hand that will provide everything you need for the journey. So let's avoid the traffic and head down the road less traveled!

Nature - What better way to begin our walk down desktop lane than hold hands with Nature and make a stop at the Land of Oz! How do we get to the path paved with brilliant yellow wildflowers, winding along the edge of a milpa (corn field)? Just Follow The Yellow Brick Road! The most artist William D. Thompson offers this magnificent view of these ceremonial centers called cuisillos, which are somewhat like small pyramids. They date from close to 1,000 years ago and dozens of them dot the countryside around San Miguel de Allende on the high plateau of central Mexico. ¡Impresionante!

 

Desktops - Always in top desktop form and getting better all the time is Mr. Artistic himself, Victor Emert! Seemingly to avoid the constraints of your typical run-of-the mill stamp of symmetry for style's sake, Formscape 1 breaks all boundaries with a look that is simply unrivaled amongst its pixel peers. And even though the Victor's virtuosity in this particular piece sets it apart from the rest, it still retains his signature look and style so you know that it came from the hands of a master desktop crafter by no other name than Emert!

Fire up your GUI guns and get ready for a sizzling hot number from the man that knows no end to desktop creativity, Bob Wiley! Almost an entry in the Nature Department, Fire 2 is an edit of a photo Bob took of some decaying wood. The detail in this most excellent piece comes alive with Bob's in-your-face, almost 3-D in design, signature style. And while the year's seasonal swings are beginning to cool, this pic will keep the heat and your desktop warm without an iota of decay! Put another desktop log on the fire, Bob!

Before we make our last stop in the desktop shop, it's time to take a trip to town and stop in awe as we gaze at the big city lights in Spotlight City! This glamorous look from Neil Roberts takes a view of blue from the "lantern" illuminations inside the monumental architectures some call home. As for your inside outlook on all-time desktop favorites, this number is certain to land tall in the "best of" ranks amongst your most picked pics. Perhaps it's easy to see why this true blue selection is sitting in the spotlight!

 

Fun - Since we all know that there's no place like home, just how do we get back to that hospitable habitation? Though we could always click our heals together and started repeating those memorable words, why not head down "home street" and find your comfort zone with St. 3! This most colorful creation by Bandar Raffa of Tux'n'tosh sports his ever amazing abilities and adds tons of fun to your viewable eye candy collections. You'll get every ounce of GUI satisfaction with this wonderful number and never have to leave the comfort of your computer's home ! ENJOY!!

Thanks Department --

William, Victor, Bob, Neil, and Bandar...

When all is said and done, your works

Are the pot of gold at the end of the Rainbow !!!!!

THANK YOU!!

Have a piece you want to display?

Check out our Submissions guidelines and then send it in!

Community News

The Iconfactory - WOA, digital doggities!!! The Iconfactory has been up to their fun filled digital tricks as artist Dave Brasgalla has released World of Aqua 5, a shiny new collection of photo-illustrative goodies. Expanding the already formidable World of Aqua series, this new set features icons that were unused projects concepts, some simply created to satisfy a whim, but they form an eclectic collection with something for everyone. And of course you are cordially invited to drop by the Iconfactory Showroom and download this latest glossy edition of the World of Aqua formatted for Macintosh, Windows or as a handy Pixadex iContainer. Yum yum!!

On The Net

Gideon Softworks - Time for some cool new updates from Gideon Softworks! Just announced are the release of both Dock-It 2.3 and xBack 3.3. Let's take a quick peek at what's under the hood:

Dock-It 2.3 - This way cool multifunctional dock and Finder enhancer now fixes an issue with Dock-It not launching on systems without Expose.

xBack 3.3 - If you want to have a live desktop, this utility replaces the desktop picture with a screen saver. The latest update fixes a bug where xBack would not show up when launched on systems without Expose and an issue with screen savers not loading all the time.

So now that you have a brief run down of all things new at Gideon Softworks, make sure you make a trip to this great Mac app place and get your downloads and the full scoop!

eMail Bounce Handler 2.0 - The folks from MAX Programming have announced the release of eMail Bounce Handler 2.0. This Mac app is a bounce e-mail filtering and handling tool that recognizes bounce e-mails using a customizable set of rules. The latest version features new enhancements and changes. For all of the details on eMail Bounce Handler 2.0, bounce over to MAX Programming and check it out!

Bananas

Just Plain Nutz!

JUST A JUGGALO

A man is driving home, when he is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guy's car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.

"Sir," the cop says. "Why do you have all those knives?"

"They're for my juggling act," the man says.

"I don't believe you," says the cop. "Prove it." So the man gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives. At the same time, a car with two guys in it drives by.

"Man," says the first guy. "I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard."

THE OTHER SIDE

Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer, to let her know he had arrived safely.

Unfortunately, he mistyped a letter and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs. Joan Johnson, the wife of a preacher who had just passed away. The preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted. When she was finally revived, she nervously showed her neighbor the message, which read: ''Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here.''

THE VACUUM BUSINESS SUCKS

One day a new vacuum salesman is going door-to-door in a new neighborhood. The salesman goes and knocks on a door. A mean looking woman answers but the salesman decided to go ahead and try to sell her a vacuum.

Before she can say a word, the man walks right in and drops cow patties on her floor. Then he says, ''Ma'am, just to show you how good my vacuum works, if it can not pick up every last piece of these cow patties I will eat them.''

The woman smiles and asks, ''You want ketchup with that?''

The salesman not understanding inquires, ''Why do you ask?''

The woman replies after wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes, ''Well we just moved in and haven't got the electricity turned on yet.''

September 14, 2004

Monkie News | Network News

Monkie News

Tomorrow: New Desktops - What day would tomorrow be? Why, the day after today of course! Mmmm, maybe the same day this time next year? Well, no matter how you attack the cracked up Monkie rhetoric, one thing is certain: A great new line up of desktops are on their way for your Wednesday Desktop Edition! A fine line of desktop design combined with all the usual News and Humor make for a great way to attack the mid most portion of the traditional work week. Oh yeah...there's more Monkie News to view. Scroll down...

Almost Outta The Bag: Update - As was mentioned yesterday, a "public preview" of the new site work would be available "soon." Since the pace has continued at a successful rate, the teaser could be available by the end of the week. So if you are interested in a sneak peek, keep your eyes peeled and your bananas outta your ears!

Network News

the WebWorld - BeanHead

Jobs Back On The Job - Steve Jobs has returned to Apple after his recent bout with surgery. The main Mac man was missing in action for more than a month. In his absence Apple managed to maintain business as usual, increasing stock and shares. Speculators say this seemingly seamless transition shows strong internal communication on Apple's part. No one can replace Apple's star celebrity, but the company has shown that it can keep the Mac wheels turning. - from MacNewsWorld

REM Rocks iPod - REM Rock Star, Peter Buck, has been rendering music onto iPods for all the people involved in making the group's new album. The guitarist has been on a gift-giving binge of gracing iPods with songs, then giving them away. A die-hard downloader when it comes to music, Buck personalizes each iPod with tunes he feels each recipient will prefer. Sometimes the songs don't match peoples preferences, but it's the thought that counts. - from PC Pro

Techno Spider Walks On Water - Engineers at Carnegie Mellon University have produced a prototype robot spider that can prance across water. Part of the challenge in producing this particular bug was making it light enough so it wouldn't sink. The animated anaconda comes with many advantages. It acts like a super water spider with sensors, detecting pollution. Equipped with a camera, the small water surfer could even act as a spy. - from Excite

September 13, 2004

On The Net | Monkie News | Monkie Business | Bananas

At The Top - Monday the 13th...Hmmm. One would think that as "luck" would have it, Monday would place a sure fire first over Friday for a day to ban from the calendar. At least with Friday, you have the weekend to recoup from a "bad" day! Oh well, never the no mind. We'll just pass by the superstition and make like a Monkie to face the week's Monday face head on with our brand of lunatic fun! And since this place is full of loons, that shouldn't be hard to do. Just remember: Nobody knows what the nose knows, so speak beak!

On The Net

Speed Download 2.3.6 - Everybody's favorite download pick-me-upper on steroids has recently been released! Speed Download 2.3.6 was just let loose from the folks of Yazsoft. The latest incarnation has a LONG list of improvements including overall better performance, updated and optimized for Mac OS X 10.3.5. and much better integration with Apple Safari. Now that you have the scoop on the best way to speed up your download experience, make like a lightning bolt to Yazsoft and grab your updated copy of Speed Download!

Monkie News

Almost Outta The Bag - Okay, all you Monkie folks! I have been mentioning a couple of "projects" that I have been almost obsessively working on in recent weeks. This time out, I thought I would share more of what's in store. What started out as a simple site facelift is turning more into a pseudo site redesign. What will one find with this "new look?" Thus far, most of the graphics have been replaced, there's a new index layout, updated HTML coding will be included, and a somewhat updated style sheet is also to be included.

Since I am by no means a true blue master of web design, I will soon be offering a preview of this project that will be open for your input. If all goes well, the teaser will be available very soon. So, now that the Monkie is nearly outta the bag, we'll see if we can't get this puppy up and out and into the web world! - Brad

Monkie Business

Heavy Man, Heavy - Jupiter, the largest planet in our solar system, weighs over twice as much as all of the other known planets combined.

Your Number Is Not Up - Major-league baseball clubs didn't start putting numbers on uniforms until the 1930s. As a result, Ty Cobb, who broke many batting and base-stealing records while playing with the Detroit Tigers (1905-1926), didn't have his uniform number retired. This was, simply, because Cobb never was issued a number.

Tips On Tips - The word "tip," meaning a gratuity, was originally an acronym standing for "To Insure Promptness."

To Do - To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.

- Anatole France

Customer Always Right? - You can't just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them. By the time you get it built, they'll want something new.

- Steve Jobs

Bananas

Just Plain Nutz!

LADIES LAST LAUGH Part II

9. Love is blind - but marriage is a real eye-opener.

10. If you want a committed man - look in a mental hospital.

11. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

12. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.

13. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

14. Sadly, all men are created equal.

COMPETITION

A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST DEALS.'

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST PRICES.'

The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read 'MAIN ENTRANCE'.

FLY, SOUP, THE USUAL

In a restaurant, a disgusted customer says: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?

The waiter, after taking a close look says: It looks to me like the breaststroke, Sir.

PIG IN A BAR

A man goes into a bar with his goose. Then the bartender comes up to him and says, ''Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?''

Then the man answered, ''Excuse me, I think this is a goose.''

And the bartender says, ''Excuse me, I was talking to the goose.''